Daria Digs
by EntrancedCat
Summary: Daria develops a passion and some success at volleyball. Rated 'M' for a good deal of swearing, cussing and cursing.
1. Chapter 1

**Daria Digs**

Daria and related characters and situations are the property of Viacom / MTV Networks. This work is strictly for the entertainment of Daria fans and not for material gain. All characters are fictitious.

Daria brought herself back from Melody Powers land as she became aware of Tiffany and Stacy glaring at her. She vaguely recalled hearing something thump near her, just off to her left.

 _"Oh yeah, I should look like I'm blocking or stopping the ball or something."_

She slowly held out her left hand palm out.

Tiffany hissed and Stacy growled in frustration. The two shook their heads, glanced at each other then turned forward to receive another serve from the opposing team. This server could put a hard topspin on her serves or she could make the serve seem to float and wiggle as the ball came over the net. She knew-as did her whole team and every other team and Daria's own team- just where the vulnerable spot was. She aimed her missile just to Daria's right this time.

Daria brought herself back from Melody Powers land as she became aware of a thud in front of her and a thump to her right. She stuck out her right hand palm out for an instant.

"Tweet, tweet," shrilly sounded out Coach Morris's whistle. Morris came onto the court and checked out Tiffany and Stacy who were crumpled on the floor. The two were only mildly dazed from their impact while simultaneously attempting to check the serve meant for Daria, lying more in irritation and resignation than injury. Morris helped the two of them up then turned to Daria.

"Morgendorffer," Coach Morris began as shrilly as her whistle. Daria realized that as she slipped into Melody Powers land this time she would also have to keep up an autopilot spout of contrition.

"Daria," Morris suddenly surprised her with. Daria had heard or seen no previous indication that Morris knew anyone's first name.

"Daria," Morris started with again in a softer tone. Daria looked into the coach's eyes and saw she was being addressed with a galling combination of suppressed anger and pity.

"Don't you want to play the game? I've seen you exercise, Daria. You're not totally unathletic. You have potential to contribute to your team and learn teamwork."

"Ms. Morris, under your unstinting dedication and fine examples of leadership I have learned teamwork. I have learned how and when to move slowly clockwise from position to position on the gym floor."

Morris opened her mouth wide and Daria was certain the yelling would commence followed by the order to run ten laps of which Daria, having learned how to convincingly loaf and lope, would complete perhaps three or four before the class had to end.

But Coach Morris caught herself and closed her mouth. She gritted her teeth and started again with the galling pity, applied publicly during gym class.

"Daria, I know you can play volleyball if you try. You can apply yourself and not let your team down. Why, even a pipsqueak like you can have some talent for volleyball. Or maybe not. You ARE the shortest girl in your class. Even freshman," she gestured at Tiffany and Stacy, "are taller than you."

Morris started to say more but gave up, shook her head and went off to supervise at another court while muttering something about Li's budget cuts forcing her to coach freshmen and sophomores together.

 _"Pipsqueak? Shortest girl? Well, okay she's got me there."_ She was aware she was probably being played but just then Daria had developed a desire to smack the volleyball around. Hard. She drew herself up to her five-foot-one-and-one-half-inch and growing full height and prepared for another serve, readying herself but not really knowing what to do when the ball surely came for her.

Tweet. "Showers, ladies," marked the end of gym class and interrupted the server's blast.

As they hit the locker room Daria could hear not so hidden mumblings against her from her teammates.

"I wish she could just try." "Yeah, and she acts so superior with that stupid little smile." "She's the shortest but at least she could learn to bump."

"Damn, you guys," a loud new voice took over. "Just freaking let her be, okay? It's not like a real fucking game; it's just shitty gym."

Daria looked at the voice's owner, Mai Ling, a tall Asian girl who was taking love-in-Tokyo hair beads out of her long black hair.

Another of Daria's faithful teammates took up the protest. "Mai, you should be madder at her than anybody. You're the best spiker and server on the varsity team. You're the only reason we're not dead last place in gym; just second to last."

"Hell, that's mainly why I don't care. I play hard in gym but I save my energy for the real damn games. If you guys fucking practiced more you'd be okay but none of you are really that stinking good right now anyway. You all suck shit."

The grumbling mainly stopped as the girls tried to get a good shower and fixing of makeup in before the next period. Daria managed to shower away from the other girls and their glares.

Gym was quickly forgotten by everyone but Daria who thought about volleyball for the rest of the day. She had the last class of the day with Mai. As Mai was getting her books out of her locker, Daria sheepishly approached.

"Umm, Mai?"

Mai turned with a smile but quickly looked down nervously when she saw Daria. Daria put her hand behind her head and rubbed her hair, equally nervous.

"Oh hi, Daria. Hey, don't let those clowns in gym get you down. I bet you got way more important things to think about than volleyball."

"Yeah, Mai. Volleyball, yeah. Actually, I was wondering if you could coach me. You know, the basics. I sort of wasn't paying attention to Morris much."

Mai grinned hugely, the smile reaching her canted eyes. "Hell, yeah! I gotta go home right now and help Dad fix the tractor. How about we start tomorrow after school? We can go to the Walnut street park. There's usually nobody there but little kids."

As Mai breezed out the doors, she gave Daria a parting glance and grin. Daria waved slightly, wondering just then what they were both getting into.

 **A/N: I conceive of Mai as the Asian background character near the end of** _ **See Jane Run.**_ **She is as unenthusiastically waving pom poms around as Daria and Jane. As far as I can tell, no one in fan fiction has given her a name or role before.**

 **DM DM DM DM DM**

"I know I'm being played but I can't help it, Jane. I'm disgusted with myself."

"You mean more than usual, Daria?" Jane continued to sketch while seated on Daria's computer chair.

"Morris called me a pipsqueak and that was the reason I can't play volleyball. I want to prove short, weak pipsqueaks can succeed. I even asked Mai Ling to coach me."

Jane set down her pencils and sketch pad. She regarded Daria as her friend spread her arms out on her bed with her head hanging over the foot.

"Potty-mouth Mai? How many times did she swear when she said no? Learn any new words? Or did she just say 'Go to Hell.'?"

Daria rolled onto her tummy. "Our first practice is tomorrow. And, you know, it was weird, when I asked her she didn't swear once. She seemed kind of nervous about it."

"No way." Jane mused. "You know she does have interesting cursing habits, come to think of it. Like she'll say 'damn' and 'Hell' but I've never heard her say 'God' or 'Jesus' or even just 'jeez'. And I've never heard her say 'bitch' or anything like that about a girl. But scatology and obscenity? She's a pro. I even learned some choice Spanish from her. I'll have to thank her sometime."

"Well, Jimminy Crickets and thank you, oh connoisseur of cussing. I'll keep my ear open for new phrases tomorrow but you know my speech is as pure as the driven snow, I might not recognize any swear words. So, am I selling out if I want to get better at volleyball?"

"Good grief, Daria! Who cares about that kind of thing? It's called keeping fit and that's just one reason why I run. So what if volleyball's Morris's fave team sport? Well, besides cheerleading. Just picture a portrait of Quinn on the ball when you smack it."

A brisk, breezy knock sounded on Daria's door and a moment later Quinn breezed in holding brightly colored dresses in either hand.

"Hi teammate!" She addressed Jane. "Morris said we could wear something besides our regular DRAB gym uniforms and look what I found in this cozy, neat sportswear boutique Cashman's just opened. I know skorts are kind of out but these badminton uniforms are so cute. I think they both go great with my hair. Which one should we go with, teammy?" Her fiery hair bounced and waved as she held out what to Daria looked like identically colored bright red, orange and yellow tennis uniforms.

Jane sat up straighter and either pretended or sincerely took a close, long considered look as Quinn waited with baited breath.

"That one," she pointed at Quinn's left. "Yeah, definitely."

"I knew it!" Quinn squealed. "That's my fave too because it sets off my hair the best of course. I knew you had great color sense, Jane. Thanks. Here, this is yours." She thrust it into Jane's hands. "I've got mine in my room and don't worry about it. It's on Mom's platinum. We'll own Sandi and Tori on the court tomorrow. Oh, hi Daria. Well, gotta go. Battledore!" And she was off.

"Battledore?" Daria questioned Jane.

Jane smiled a bit sheepishly but amused too. "Yeah, battledore. It's a forerunner of badminton, she somehow discovered. Quinn made it her good luck battle cry."

Jane mused, "At least she doesn't yell 'shuttlecock'."

"Ugh, I wish I'd drawn badminton in Morris's undoubtedly rigged sports lottery meant to humiliate me. Who would think my sister and my best friend-that's you by the way-would be tearing up the badminton courts?"

"Yeah, kind of surprised me too. Quinn's got a real instinct for strategic and tactical doubles play. We're number one."

"If you start chanting I will so not treat for pizza tonight, Lane. My turn or not."

"Heaven forfend, Morgendorffer. I hear the anchovies calling out now."

"Ugh," Daria said again as they left her room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Daria Digs**

"Hey Daria. Hi Jane." Daria heard Mai softly say as she worked her locker door at the end of the next school day. Daria had tried to shoo Jane away before she would meet Mai for coaching but her friend had insisted on sticking around to possibly witness the miracle of Mai Ling speaking cleanly.

"Hey," Daria turned. "Mai," she concluded. She saw that Mai had already changed into comfortable shorts, shoes and a tee. Over her shoulder she was carrying a draw-string bag bulging evidently with a few balls.

"Hi Mai," Jane started in. "I hear you're going to teach Morgendorffer here how to spike and set and fetch and retrieve and all those good volleyball skills."

Mai laughed a bit nervously. "Well, I thought we'd start with your basic bump and set today. Maybe a little practice serving if we have time. Hey, Jane, wanna come with? I hear you and what's-her-name-Daria's sister-have the Lllawwwndale High badminton championship sewed up tight. So add another freaking skill to your repertoire."

Jane laughed in turn. "Thanks, Mai, but nah, my repertoire's dance-card is pretty full. Besides, I hear a long, lonely, steep hill a couple miles from home is just yearning to have old Janey run up it."

"Oh, yeah, I've seen you run out past our place on Hwy. 55. You should join the track team next spring, Jane. The team captain Evan's kind of an asshat dick but my buddy Siobhan says ya just gotta put him in his place right away and then he's okay."

"Thanks, that's tempting. I do love putting guys in their place having had lots of practice with my brother. I'll think about it, Mai." Jane smiled a bit saccharinely at Daria and set off.

"Ready, Daria?"

"I am ready to dive at your order and skin my knees bloody to learn practical volleyball skills, sir...err...ma'am." Daria deadpanned.

"Hardly," Mai giggled. "We'll start light today but I hope you have kneepads for future sessions. And cut the Peppermint Patty sir shit or I'll start calling you Marcie. "

Daria nodded and hefted her backpack made a bit heavier that afternoon with gym uniform, shoes and knee protection.

"Is there a place to change or do I just run behind a tree and flash the squirrels?"

"Oh, they actually got a changing room in the shelter house. It's not real shit-grody or anything even."

Mai led her out to the parking lot. Daria stared up and up as Mai unlocked the passenger door of a huge, high red pickup. Daria took in the bumper stickers: one Ford Tough sticker; "I swerve and hit people at random"; "Bad Ass Ladies Don't Drive Mercedes" around a Ford logo, and, although the truck was gleaming and spotless, the exhortation: "DO NOT WASH. This vehicle undergoing scientific dirt test."

Mai smirked, "I used to have one of Calvin pissing...er...peeing...uhm urinating on a Chevy logo but Dad made me scrape it off."

"It's okay, Mai," Daria assured her. "I've heard the all p-words before although I prefer the term 'making water' myself."

"I admire you, Daria," Mai chuckled. "You can think of the funniest, snarkiest, insightful things to say without swearing once."

"I think it comes from having a crazy, though repressed family. I don't think Mom heard most unladylike words until she went to college. Dad rants with the best, and I've picked up some style points, but the most he says is 'gah-damn' after he drops a squirrel trap on his toe. He went to a military high school. I think that burned him out on swearing."

Mai sighed. "I swear too much. Gotta cut back. It's hard."

"You don't have to be lady-like for me, Mai."

"That's not it. That old bat Li hears me and gives me too many fucking detentions."

"That sounds like the best kind," Daria said surprising herself.

Mai laughed loudly as she put the ball bag in the bed. She opened the passenger door and Daria thought she expected to have to help Daria up. Daria deftly put a boot on the narrow running board and scrambled quickly onto the seat without assistance.

"Score one for pipsqueaks," she told a smiling Mai.

"Of course," Mai said simply and went around to the driver's side.

"I heard you were about the only sophomore who could drive," Daria said as the pickup's low growl started. She shivered, feeling it through her skirt and green jacket as Mai took them out of the parking lot. Daria noted that Mai seemed to have on-off fits of nerves and she could not figure out why. Surely she wasn't nervous about her coaching ability.

"Yeah, I'm about a half-year or so older than kids in our class; I guess driving is one of the few advantages of that. But then all your friends want a fucking ride all over hell too."

Mai explained, "I was real sick with pneumonia a lot in second grade so Mom and Dad held me back a year to let me rest. That's one reason I got into volleyball. Dad was a star on his university team. As I got better he started teaching me to build up my lungs and strength. We started with soft kids' play balls like you buy in a supermarket to shut the little yard apes up."

"Hmmm, maybe a big shiny pink ball would work on Quinn," Daria speculated.

"Your sister? The badminton queen? We could look for a pink shuttlecock," Mai offered.

Mai drove more carefully than Daria had anticipated on first glance at the big pickup and the bumper-stickers, both hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road at all times. Mai shared a story about Kevin Thompson mixing chlorine bleach and ammonia because he thought two strong cleaning agents were better than one; she told it with a mix of horror and humor.

"He said he thought the bubbles were real pretty but he then thought all the churning action maybe meant something was wrong. Probably the first damn thoughts he had in years and almost his last."

Daria could tell a few good Kevin stories herself and she noticed that the more they talked the more at ease Mai got with her nerves and her swearing. Soon they were parking in front of a sign announcing the Walnut Street Park.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Daria Digs**

"Ah crap," Mai said as she retrieved the balls from the pickup bed. She waved at a court surrounded by chain-link fence. "They took down the fucking nets. Everything was up when Pris and I were here a couple days ago."

"Maybe Lawndale Park 'N' Rec crews needed nets to catch some big carp," Daria said as she surveyed the park and wondered if she were up to this. "Pris?"

"Priscilla Ling. She's 'that other Ling' but she's Scandihoovian, go figure. She's on the varsity team too; she's good. Pris and I come here with Siobhan sometimes. Vonny—Siobhan—just runs around—boring—while Pris and I try to murder each other with volleyballs. Sometimes if Vonny feels like it she'll serve a few to us. She serves pretty wussy but she's getting better. 'Course we can't run fifteen-hundred damn meters as fast as her either."

Daria had an idea just then that she filed away to play around with when she wrote at her computer or notebook that evening: when you meet a new person it was like finding a whole new city or school.

" _Meet a new person; yep, that's always been a number one priority with you, Morgendorffer,"_ Daria reflected. Then again, she hadn't known Jane Lane for long but it seemed like they had been best friends forever. _"And Mai? We'll see."_

They walked to the shelter house near the two volleyball courts. Mai's predictions were correct. It was a large park with high, old trees and wide lawns but nearly deserted. A couple of old men walked dogs. Kids ran around a play structure while a few parents chatted.

"You might know Pris," Mai speculated. "I think I saw old bat Li giving you and her and the badminton queen and the other newbies the grand tour on your first day. She's a tall drink of water. Pris had kind of a stick up her…rear for the longest time but she's way cool now."

"Yeah, I know her a little. Everybody's a tall drink of water compared to me, I'm beginning to come to terms with that."

Mai chuckled and gave Daria a nervous pat on the arm. She had suddenly dropped into eye avoidance mode again.

"Anyway, the changing room's in the women's can on the other side of the building. I'll warm up. Oh, did you bring kneepads? Put 'em on, I decided. Asphalt's hard."

"Harder than my ass?" Daria joked, again surprising herself. "Mai, you're corrupting me."

Mai grinned, "Happy to. Now run along."

Daria found the changing room to be small but very clean. She put on her gym shorts and shoes and her blue gym tee with the big yellow 'L'. Her knee protection hung loose and crookedly. After stowing her civilian clothes in her pack she went out.

She heard step step wham thump sounds before she rounded the corner of the building. Daria paused to listen to quick steps, a sharp almost metallic wham followed a split second later by a solid thump. Sometimes the thump was followed by a jangling impact with the chain link fence.

Daria came around the corner and stopped in her tracks. Mai stood behind the back line. She bounced the ball a couple times then threw it up high and ahead of her. She accelerated quickly in just a couple steps, jumped and smacked the ball hard. There was no net but judging from the poles the serve would have easily cleared before coming down sharply in the bounds of the opposite side. Mai's hair was bound back tightly in her habitual red and white love-in-Tokyos. She paused to retrieve her serves. Kids and parents on the playground were staring at her as avidly as Daria.

"What took you so long? Here." She shot a ball at Daria who managed to catch it awkwardly by trapping it against her chest.

"Those are some sorry-ass knee pads," Mai said disapprovingly. "But I guess they'll do for today. Got any money? We'll stop at Dega Street Sporting Goods and get you something new."

Mai seemed to have lost her case of nerves but she was all business-like as she put the balls down carefully.

"Let's start with the basic bump or pass. Do you remember anything from what Morris showed you civilians?"

"No," Daria admitted. "I was dreaming of a tropical island beach and Quinn buried in sand up to her neck."

"I probably was too at that point, without the torture your sister part. Okay, this position is what we use to stop a serve and pass it to the player who sets up a hitter to spike. In theory, anyway. Now put your hands together like this." Mai quickly put her hands together with thumbs touching and arms straight.

Daria tried to copy and Mai slapped her hands gently. "Okay, I just tricked you to make a point. You just made the classic newbie mistake, Daria. Don't weave your fingers together. Don't interlace 'em. A hard serve might break 'em. Make a loose fist with the hand you don't write with and wrap the other hand around that. Like this, see?"

"Break my fingers? I thought this wasn't a contact sport. Maybe I should just join the football team. You're an evil coach by the way."

"Happy to be of service. Maybe not the team; you'd look great as a cheerleader and that skirt you wear is hotter than…well, anyway you'd look good out there."

Mai blushed and got back to business. After a few attempts from Daria and adjustments from Mai, she was happy with Daria's hand and arm positions. She taught Daria not to make contact with the ball using her fists or wrists but with the natural 'platform' formed by her forearms.

"Let me toss the balls real slow at you, Daria. Just stop 'em with your platform."

Mai stood back and threw the ball gently underhanded. Daria gritted her teeth and brought her arms up to meet it. Bonk, somehow the ball flew back and up and smacked her face.

"Oh, shit." Mai trotted up. "Are you okay, Daria?" She reached out and gently adjusted Daria's askew glasses. Daria could then see that Mai was looking at her with barely suppressed giggles as well as a look of concern.

"I'm fine, only my dignity damaged and Lawndale High started the slow killing of that weeks ago."

Mai gave in to giggles. "Sorry, I just never saw anybody hit themselves like that."

"I'm a woman of many talents."

"Okay, enough with the tricky evil coach stuff. I was trying to prove another point. Don't move your platform around, not forward or up or to the sides or tilt or wherever. Keep it stable, move around by stepping forward or back or shifting to one side or the other." Mai had Daria lob a few balls at her from different angles. Daria avidly watched Mai move around and thought she was actually learning something.

The girls practiced bumps and passes until Mai was satisfied or at least bored and wanted to move on. Mai showed Daria basics of setting the ball for a hitter, how to cup her hands in front of her face. Daria flinched and closed her eyes at first when the balls came to her, Mai made gentle fun of her and made her practice more.

"Whew, that's enough for the day, Daria. I gotta get home to write O'Neill's shit-stupid wuss essay. What kind of topic is that: "If I were a tree what kind and where would I be planted and who would plant me?" We'll get your kneepads, then I'll take you home."

"I am planning to research toxic poisonous thorny trees tonight and the answer to the last question is 'Quinn'. But aren't you going to show me how to spike and serve?" Daria asked, her appetite having been whetted by feeling some moderate success and praise from her coach.

"Hey, a little at a time, babe. You take baby-steps for now."

Daria felt she was pouting worthy of a Quinn pre-tantrum. She quickly assumed her customary deadpan.

Mai must have picked up on her student's disappointment. "Hey, Daria. You're doing great. Really, I'm not just blowing smoke up your…skirt. Look, tomorrow in gym you just do what we practiced here. Nazi Morris seems to think she decides court positions but I'll try to back you up what I can. You'll do great! That Tiffany and Stacy will be mortified."

They packed up the balls and Daria bought what Mai recommended as the best knee protection. The girls chatted about school as Daria directed her to Schloss Morgendorffer. Mai gave her what Daria thought must be a sisterly hug if Quinn were the hugging-Daria-sweetly type. Daria micro waved as the big, throaty truck moved off.

 _"Hrm, maybe I did get myself into something good. But we'll see tomorrow."_

She had no problems falling asleep that night with visions of volleyballs and big, red trucks, knee pads and canted Asian eyes dancing through her head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Daria Digs**

The tiny smile and wink which Mai gave Daria as they stepped on the court the next day did little to assuage her nerves. Daria was confused by her own reactions: before this session she had tolerated her way through gym, snarked her way through, daydreamed and been bored by it but never had really dreaded it.

" _If this is what wanting to try feels like, I should give up now."_

She felt better after she glanced at Mai who was warming up, stretching and coolly chatting with Tiffany Blume-Deckler.

"Tiff, c'mon over some time. Mom's part Vietnamese—I am too then, I guess—but you can speak more than her and she'd love to learn more. Mom and I make fucking great jiaozi and collard greens with ham shank." Daria heard Mai propose as Tiffany slowly nodded and agreed.

Then Ms. Morris blew her whistle and she felt something inspiring stirring her: peevishness and a desire to show her teacher a thing or two.

Daria was starting in the back row center as usual. Mai was in the front left of center per Nazi Morris's court position dictations, as Mai had put it.

The other team was serving first and the server barely looked at her; Daria knew where the ball was headed. Daria readied herself as the server raised her hand and prepared to toss the ball up. A wobbly serve seemed to drift deceptively slowly over the net when Mai suddenly jumped up and to her side. A quick tap-slap put the ball down convincingly onto the other side's court before anyone could react. Mai simply returned to her position.

Everyone goggled at Mai who rarely played that hard for a 'shitty gym' game. Daria's side served then. The ball went back and forth a few volleys without getting near Daria who had remembered to form her hands and arms into the platform.

Then the ball was definitely heading for her. Time slowed down. Daria held her breath. She shifted a bit to her left. The ball bounced off her platform. It bounced off an astounded Stacy Rowe and dropped onto their court.

"Aww, c'mon, ladies. Look alive! That was abso-fucking-lutely a good pass." Mai picked up the ball and scooted around Daria to give her a pat on the butt before she threw it to the other team. "Good, good, yeah, keep it up," She whispered.

The server readied herself. From Mai Daria knew her as a sophomore and a member of the j-v volleyball team. Mai had told her she was an up and coming player. The server must have figured Daria's performance as a fluke because she made no pretense of not looking directly at her.

The ball came at her. Daria passed it to a ready-this-time Stacy who dutifully set it for Tiffany. Tiffany did not exactly spike it but it cleanly got over the net where it landed between a couple opposing players.

Everyone on both sides except Daria and Mai looked around at each other. Things got serious then. Mai and the opposing j-v player pulled out their best moves. Daria's team wasn't much used to trying but they rallied. Gym games went to fifteen points and after the lead seesawing Daria's team won fifteen-thirteen.

"Tweet," sounded Ms. Morris's whistle.

"Whoo-hoo," sounded Mai. "Awesome." She dipped under the net and hugged the j-v player. The two tall girls held each other and exchanged friendly words from what Daria could see.

"Morgendorffer, where'd that effort come from? I never believed you had it in you," Morris said.

" _Yeah, so encouraging,"_ Daria thought as she panted a bit. She gave no response. _"That's the way to inspire teamwork and leadership, clean living and good penmanship. At least no pipsqueak this time."_

Morris did soften then. "Daria, good. Thanks, I actually enjoyed watching that."

"Uhm, Ms. Morris," Daria made a quick decision. "I have study hall next period. My dear sister Quinn and dear, dear friend Jane are playing badminton then. Would it be possible for you to give me a pass to watch them?"

Coach Morris smiled. "Why Daria, that's great that you want to support them. You can learn from your sister and develop her fine competitive spirit also. See me after you shower and dress."

If Daria expected some acknowledgment and praise from her winning teammates she was a bit disappointed. Everyone seemed surprised at their win and possibly unwilling to jinx future games by mentioning it. Everyone except Mai, of course.

"Fucking-a great game, everybody. You bums are comin' along. We'll pull out of the damn cellar yet."

Daria was happy that Mai did not single her out. Was her performance a fluke? She was unused was to putting forth the effort and getting the win. Future performances would be needed to evaluate if it were a trend. She knew that she had made a few flubs but also knew that she had mostly done what Mai had taught just the past day.

"Hey," Mai called over the rushing shower water. "I think we need a name for our team and I got a freaking great one: _The Pipsqueaks."_

Laughter and general agreement and not only from Daria's team. A girl said that name could never apply to Mai, the six footer. Mai caught Daria's eye as they were dressing and they exchanged tiny appreciative smiles.

 **DM DM DM DM DM**

Daria considered using Morris's pass to skip out of school altogether after that competitive spirit crack from Morris but she found an inconspicuous seat in the bleachers as four of the best dressed badminton players in Lawndale High history took to the court. Jane and Quinn lit up the gym in their bright orange and red uniforms matched against the equally resplendent Tori and Sandi in aubergine and puce. Quinn and Jane were finally playing against Tori and Sandi, having missed the match the day before when Sandi had to take her cat for an emergency visit to the vet.

Daria tried to follow the warm up. The shuttlecock came off the rackets so quickly that she almost could not follow it. Her head jerked in an attempt to track the little white missile but then her eyes jerked ahead of it and she lost the shuttlecock as it slowed  
down so drastically that it seemed to hang in the air. Then another quick blast  
as the opposite player sent it back. While on the same side as Sandi, Jane practiced hitting to Quinn, while Quinn and Tori on the opposite side rallied the shuttlecocks back at their teammies.

When the game started, Daria had to admit she found badminton mesmerizing and Quinn surprisingly good. Quinn mostly hung back on the serves but she and Jane were all over their courtside making sudden bursts of speed and then stopping short, sometimes making underhand swipes to lift the shuttlecock over the net but, Daria judged, mostly trying to smash the shuttlecock down to an unlikely spot like a volleyball spike, as if Daria had practiced spikes and was tall enough to do that.

Just as surprising was that Sandi and Tori were quite their equals. But the biggest surprise was that Sandi was playing hard and not being a prima donna and overly bossing Tori around.

Daria prepared to leave when the score got to twenty-one to twenty in the Morgendorffer-Lane favor but the girls prepared for another serve. A few tense seconds later Quinn kicked up her heels and yelled, "Battledore!" as the shuttlecock came down between and a little behind Tori and Sandi. Only then did Sandi appear to scowl but she said nothing as the teams shook hands. Jane let herself be hugged by Quinn and that was enough to drive Daria from the gym.

"But Sandi," Daria heard Quinn say in the hall near her locker a bit later. "I know it's hard to play when you need to look out both for yourself AND Tori. You do a great job supporting her and covering your side. If you were matched with me or Jane you would so totally win without getting a sweat."

"I'm glad at least someone understands my toil and heavy burden, Kah-Winn…"

 **DM DM DM DM DM**

Daria stretched supine on Jane's bed as Jane swiped at her canvas.

"I'm telling you, Jane, it was almost enough to make me want to march up and give her a big hug and kiss while proclaiming, 'Oh, hi SIS. Congrats on your win, my dear, dear SISTER Quinn.' Quinn basically let Sandi blame—no, she encouraged it—Tori for their loss. But even I can tell all of you are very good. I don't understand how you can figure out where that wobbly little thing is going to be."

"It comes from the coffee I drink and force into Quinn before matches. Daria, Quinn and Tori are playing Sandi like a shuttlecock—that's a state secret, of course. Quinn wants to win fair and square; she actually wants Sandi and Tori at their best, and then beat the snot out of them. Tori wants to win too and she knows that Sandi would give up if she didn't have a whipping-boy, er, girl to blame when something went wrong and then Sandi gets all the glory for a win. So she and Quinn got together and figured out lines to feed Sandi. Old Janey goes along with it but she doesn't want any real part in it."

"How very passive-aggressive for all concerned competitors." Daria rolled onto her tummy on Jane's bed. "Hey, can we open a window? The paint fumes are starting to make me see two heads on you."

"Ha, you only now see our true forms before we take over your puny world, Earthling. But yeah, let's have this place air out and get some pizza. You can tell me all about carrying your team single-handedly to volleyball glory. Well, with a little help from Mai, I am sure."

"I can hear the anchovies calling, ugh, must be all the volleyball talking."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Daria Digs**

 **A little warning: there are racial slurs and sexual orientation slurs thrown around in this chapter.**

Daria and Jane heard the hubbub as they went to the east parking lot for Daria to meet Mai for another volleyball practice. A small crowd of six or eight was standing around the back of Mai's truck. Daria and Jane skirted the edge of the crowd and watched.

Siobhan and Pris were standing in front of Mai apparently blocking her from seeing something on the rear bumper.

"You don't need to see it, Mai." Siobhan stated. "It's just dumb. Give us ten minutes and we'll get it off."

"C'mon you guys, I'm a big girl. Just let me see the fucking thing."

Pris crossed her arms and shook her head.

"Back off, Pris. Stand aside Chipmunk," Mai ordered. She said softer then, "C'mon you guys, please."

Siobhan, apparently designated 'Chipmunk' because of her hair in small buns worn on either side of her head, and Pris glanced at each other, shrugged and moved away.

"Assholes!" Mai exclaimed. "The bastard covered up my Ford Tough sticker."

'I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE STRAIGHT' read the sticker in a font so flowing, curvy, festive and rounded it made Comic Sans look somber enough for a Supreme Court ruling. Bursts of rainbows and flowers in lurid shades flanked the script. It was hard to tell but Daria thought what little background was left was a bilious shade of yellow.

"It's not so bad," Pris offered. "See? They did a crappy job."

She pinched a tiny hanging corner and pulled hard and fast. Pris blinked as she was left holding a jagged snake-tongue shaped piece with chunks of Mai's precious Ford decal hanging on it.

'...M...GAY I...RAIGHT' the sticker now more or less read. Mai clenched her fists and growled. She turned on the growing crowd. Few boys dared meet the angry eyes of a fit girl who was taller than most of them.

"Did you do this, Feldman?" She accosted a boy who usually wore a small smile of superiority. "It stinks of your shit."

Skylar Feldman shook his head managing to wear an expression of put-upon innocence and slowly growing fear.

"Nah, you're probably too damn lazy. By the way, I got news for you, Skylar. I heard you call my buddy Woot a chink. She's not a chink; Woot's a gook. I'M A CHINK. Got it now?"

Skylar gulped and nodded. "Um, I have to go wax the boat." He slunk away.

Every fiber of Daria wanted to follow her instincts and long habits to avoid attention and slink away. She and Jane looked at each other and walked through the crowd to Mai's truck. Mai was walking around it inspecting every inch carefully. Pris and Siobhan eyed the pair with suspicion but said nothing. Pris was attempting to compress the sticker pieces she still held into pin point size.

"Mai," Daria said.

"Hi Daria. Hi Jane. No real damage, I guess, but when I find the motherfucker I'm gonna go all wushu on his ass."

"Please don't, Mai," Jane asked. "We want you here in Llawwndale High not in juvie lockup somewhere."

Siobhan and Pris gave Mai quick hugs and wandered off.

As Mai studied the remnants of the bumper stickers Jane sucked her lips then proposed, "You know, Trent, my brother, is an expert at getting stickers off anything without a trace. About his only skill. Let's take your truck to my place and we can wake him up."

"Wait, I'm fucking dumb," Mai blinked at Jane. "Trent Lane? The Trent Lane?"

Jane blinked back. "As far as I know the one and only Trent Lane in all of Lawndale. Thank God. I didn't peg you as a fan of grunge or possible Doors cover bands, Mai."

"Don't you guys ever look at the trophy cases by the front door?" Mai asked.

Before Daria could make a snappy comment or Jane could shake her head, Mai went on, "Forget it, even I know that's a supremely fucking dumb question. Trent Lane was on the first volleyball team ever at Lawndale High, his senior year. They took conference, freakin' amazing for the very first team. Him and Jesse Moreno and Max 'Criminale' Tyler, all senior starters on the very first team! Their autographed ball and trophies are in the case. That's your brother?"

Jane and Daria were both looking goggle-eyed at Mai now. Jane was about to flat out deny the seeming supreme impossibility but she said, "Maybe we should just go wake Trent and find out."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Daria Digs**

Mai considered at the bumper sticker remnants clinging to the truck.

"Are you sure you guys want to be seen in this truck, well, with me now?"

Daria walked to the passenger door. Before she could touch it Jane called out, "Shotgun."

Mai chuckled, "You're damn quick, Jane. Join that track team."

Daria rolled her eyes, opened the rear door and clambered in. She found the back seat just right for her height and comfortingly cozy. As they started off Daria decided it was pleasant to have a view of long black hair waving in the breeze from the open window. Jane had produced a red leather cap from somewhere and pulled it down over her own black hair.

The three girls did not say much as they drove and Jane gave directions to Casa Lane. Mai sang quietly in Chinese, they figured, while Jane and Daria thought they should let her process the events of the afternoon.

"Better let me go wake up Trent," Jane said as they piled into the foyer of the Lane's small house. "Daria, you know what to do."

Daria led a curious Mai to the kitchen where she made coffee.

"No, thanks. I'm kind of a tea person myself," Mai said as she eyed the proffered cup of black brew. "And caffeine so fucking late in the day?"

"For Trent it's more like early in the day. And I know now to make extra for Jane." Daria explained. She turned at approaching footsteps.

"Oh, hey," Daria began and had to force herself to continue. "Trent."

Mai gave Daria a funny look which Daria did not notice as she looked down at the floor. Mai forged ahead enthusiastically.

"Trent Lane! Wow, you're abso-fucking-lutely volleyball legend in the halls of Lawndale High."

"Hey, Daria," Trent wanted to get formalities out of the way before he addressed allegations. "Hey, uhm, Jane and Daria's friend."

"This is Mai Ling, Trent. And Daria, look what I found. All the damning, conclusive, incriminating evidence." Jane waved a garish blue-and-yellow hard-cover book around.

Daria recognized the book as a Lawndale High yearbook, an improbable item for the Lanes to possess. The cartoony yellow numerals indicated a date several years in the past.

"Ewww, let me scrub it first," Jane said, eyeing several dark, fuzzy stains and holding it more carefully. She spent some time taking a wet rag to it and washing her hands before she cracked the pages. She put the album on the counter for Daria and Mai to see.

"Jane, that's those freakin' idiots on the football team," Mai told her.

"I know, although come to think of it playing volleyball with a football would be amusing to watch. Yeah, I might pay a buck and a quarter for the privilege. I wanted to start with the football team before the grand unveiling. It's the showman in me."

Jane flipped through several pages devoted to the football team's heroic efforts on and off the field before she dramatically paused and turned a page. There in a half-page photo with caption was the Lawndale High boy's or men's volleyball team. Kneeling in the center front with hands on a ball were younger, unmistakable versions of Trent, a shorter haired Jesse Moreno and Maximillian Tyler (team captain according to the caption) with thick light hair. In the back row was a guy Daria thought she had seen in a tollbooth on a highway somewhere.

Daria and Jane stared at it. Mai was looking with interest and admiration at a couple action shots below the team photo. Trent was averting his eyes.

"Uhm, yeah," he began and could not continue or finish. He gratefully took a cup which Daria held out for him.

"Okay, brother of mine. You've got some explaining to do." Jane said no-nonsense.

"Janey, remember? Mom and Dad were home a lot that year. And you weren't even in middle school yet. You didn't need to know what I did after school." Trent said as though he had been spending his senior year robbing banks in the afternoons with Criminale Tyler.

Daria got worried as she saw her friend slip into the intense distracted mode Jane sometimes achieved when thinking about her parents. Daria was still getting used to Jane's introspection, along with not knowing how to handle other people's feelings in general. She wasn't sure she would know how but she wanted to comfort Jane whenever her friend was ready to tell her more than a few sentences at a time in the breezy, offhand way Jane affected when talking about any family members besides Trent.

Jane was thinking back, painfully trying to recall that year, those times she repressed. Trent was right; her parents had been home frequently that year. For a definition of 'frequently,' Jane now thought she had to accept that it meant Vincent and Amanda Lane's home stays overlapped and were for longer than a few days at a time. Jane, than barely more than a little girl and not yet a young woman, had been overjoyed and not questioned why they were home or if it would end. Mom helped her draw and paint; Dad taught her how to compose camera shots and to develop film.

She had worked at forgetting the awful year before when Trent had always kept her fed—how she didn't know—but they had had to skip meals on more than one occasion. And the times Trent held her in the middle of the night when she had the nightmare involving mean men talking about something called a mortgage and threatening to throw her and Trent out of their house.

No wonder she had not paid much attention to Trent and his doings. Trent, she recalled, had taken his parents' presence nonchalantly. Her parents disappeared again the summer after that school year and Jane had done her best to stamp out feelings of disappointment and abandonment. They had done something about money, however, Trent explained to her when she was a little older. Food was never an issue again and mean men in suits no longer came to the door.

"It made the footballers mad; grabbed their glory. And Ms. Li was nicer to me once I was on a winning team." Jane snapped out of her reverie as she heard him explain to Daria and Mai. "And volleyball didn't involve getting a sunburn. And I, uh, we, was…were good at it. It was fun to smack the ball down hard. And it pissed off the footballers. Oh, sorry Mai."

"I never went to college," Trent finished, apparently explaining why he never kept up with the sport. "And you don't see too many pickup volleyball games."

Trent closed the book then authoritatively and apparently signaling an end to further revelations about his sordid volleyball career.

"Jane?" Daria asked looking at her with concern.

"Okay, Trent, maybe you and I have a lot to talk about later," Jane said. "Me, I think I need a run. And don't you kids have volleyball practice to get in?" she waved at Daria and Mai.

"Volleyball practice?" Trent asked looking from Mai to Daria.

"Yeah, I'm turning Daria into a decent player to get a bunch of busybody girls and one Nazi coach off her back." Mai started in. "I've got a great idea, Mr. Lane, er, Trent. How about we coach her together?"

"Eap," Daria responded and Mai gave her another funny look. She felt her face flush.

Trent flipped the ball around a few times. "Coach," he considered. "Yeah, that might be fun. I haven't held one of these in years. I know I had enough sleep when I keep having that bad dream where someone is trying to wake me up. Daria's pretty cool. She'll catch on quick."

Daria moved with the flow of the three others as they stepped through the kitchen doors and into the backyard.

"Coach me," Daria stammered. "The two of you." She saw Jane smirk at her before going back into the house.

"You kids have fun with volleying and spiking and all that digging," Jane commanded as she came back out. "I have to talk to Quinn; she's desperate to show me some new rackets she thinks will give us the edge on Sandi and Tori. And I need a nice, long run to uhm, think about some things."

Jane had changed into her running togs. Daria noted she had taken to using love-in-Tokyos to keep her hair back as had many other girls at Lawndale High. She smiled at Mai who was in conversation with Trent; apparently her sister and friends were not the only fashion-setters at Lawndale.

Trent was still holding Mai's volleyball and regarding it like he had never seen one before. He cautiously tossed it up, jumped in place and brought his hand down in a hard serve. A second later some gingerbread fell off an already half-dilapidated gazebo in the backyard.

"Trent," a slow low voice called out. "Whoa, a volleyball." Jesse Moreno came through the kitchen doors into the backyard. Trent flipped the ball at him; Jesse considered it a moment then spun it on one finger before serving. A moment later another piece of gimcrackery dropped from the gazebo.

"Man," Jesse announced significantly. "We should get Max out here and Nick too."

"Nah, man," Trent said. "Max would be cool, but remember? Nick was into futbol." He pronounced the word in such a way to make anyone listening understand he was not talking about the American version.

Daria got a couple different coaching styles that afternoon. Mai was her usual patient, demanding and exacting coach; the men were exacting and laid back in the extreme. The session ended with a net less contest between the rusty Jesse and newbie Daria against the rusty Trent and experienced Mai. When Mai had proposed the contest, Daria had quickly rushed over to Jesse, as far from Trent as possible and prompting another odd look from Mai.

Mai though was having fun and Daria found herself relaxing as Jesse covered up her occasional flub and complimented her on her increasingly common good moves.

Before she and Mai left, Mai had the boys sign one of her volleyballs in heavy black marker.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Daria Digs**

Daria checked her appearance carefully in the mirror before going into the crowded gymnasium the next evening. She tied the nondescript black scarf tighter under her chin after tucking stray strands of auburn hair under it. She had managed to find a hat which included an attached scarf in a pile of Quinn's fashion don'ts, examples from a project Quinn had done in middle school. Daria fluffed the scarf up and out to cover more of her cheeks.

The major problem was, of course, her eyeglasses. Daria had tried to find clip-on sunglasses to cover her wide, round lenses but none in the drugstores were wide enough, all leaving a large crescent of glass exposed under their dark expenses. The effect was more attention-getting than disguising. Not wearing her glasses was not an option if Daria wanted to see anything on court or, indeed, to walk around without posing a danger to herself or anyone in her vicinity.

Still, the wide-brimmed black hat with matching attached scarf covered much of her face and shaded her glasses. She sported a shapeless bulky green sweater, scored as well from Quinn's reject bin. Black jeans encased her legs.

She moved carefully out of the girl's room after a quick peek out the door to make sure the hall was clear. The varsity game would start in a few minutes and most spectators had taken their seats. Just like watching Jane's badminton match, Daria found an inconspicuous spot on the bleachers and settled down, a program providing extra cover as she occasionally held it close for study.

The varsity volleyball teams for Lawndale and Briarwood were warming up. Mai and Pris were lobbing balls at each other or talking with Coach Morris.

"Hi, you're Daria, right?" Daria later gave herself credit for not jumping out of her seat as a perky voice addressed her. Mai's friend, Siobhan, sat down next to her and turned her attention on the court as well.

"No no, I'm her cousin, Quinn."

Siobhan chuckled drily. "Yeah, that's a funny joke you guys pull sometimes. I think you got that Griffin girl going, though. Jeez, speaking of your sister, Quinn and that art girl really steamroll the rest of us at badminton, 'cept Tori and what's-her-name Griffin."

Siobhan studied Daria's clothes and hat and said observationally, "You sort of look like my cousin's Russian grandmother."

"I got O'Neill's dumb-o window flower box essay done," Siobhan said conversationally, "So I thought I'd come watch 'em play. Mai and Pris are really good but, God, just standing in the gym in one little rectangle for so long? You can't feel the wind in your hair or your legs pumping for more than a few steps. Borrr-ing."

"Their shorts are so-short." Daria attempted to say conversationally.

Siobhan shot her a sideways glance and sucked her lips. "Yeah, Pris said she tried to practice in basketball shorts once and would never do it again. Mai agreed completely. They said long shorts get caught in the net and foul you-or whatever they call it. And they just can't move right in anything longer."

She paused, "Personally, I think it's Li's way to increase the pervert attendance."

Daria glanced around as the team captains listened to a referee. Everyone else there seemed to be family of a player from Briarwood or Lawndale, from moms and dads to utterly bored younger siblings. The exception was a ginger-haired boy from her class sitting in a good spot and attempting to maintain as low profile a profile as Daria. Daria tried to see if anyone in the audience looked like they might be Mai's family. She had no way of telling really but she didn't think they were in attendance.

"Hey Daria," the voice from her side opposite Siobhan froze her. "Hey, uh, Daria's other friend."

Daria turned her head as Trent Lane sauntered over and sit down. Now her possibilities of a low profile escape were greatly lessened, sandwiched as she was between Trent and Siobhan.

"Eap," Daria squeaked in the highest register she was capable of.

Siobhan glanced at her sideways again, then extended her hand across Daria. "Hi, I'm Siobhan Ogden."

Trent stared at her hand a moment before he appeared to remember that the gesture merited a response.

He shook her hand slowly, "Trent Lane."

Daria was relieved Siobhan did not gush, " _Trent Lane?! The Trent Lane?"_

Siobhan cast her another glance, "Um, you might want to take off that hat thing. You look kind of hot and it only gets hotter and closer in here with the lights and all the people."

Daria decided her disguise was useless since Siobhan and Trent had penetrated it easily and no one in the audience was familiar to her. She didn't care about the ginger-haired boy who was intently looking back and forth from his program to the girls on the gym floor. Daria took off the scarf/hat get-up and wiped sweat from her cheek and brow with a scarf flap.

Trent leaned back against the row behind them. Siobhan was watching the Lawndale players in conference with Coach Morris.

"Mai looks a little out of it tonight." Siobhan mused. She stood up and yelled, "Go Mai! Go Pris! Lawndale Lions! Whoo-hoo." She waved her arms in encouragement.

Daria cringed, but no one turned to look at her or her cheering row mate. A good many Lawndale fans started their own cheers and waved yellow and blue pennants. Briarwood parents responded good-naturedly.

Mai searched the audience and smiled widely as she sighted Siobhan and Daria. She perked up as Daria managed a small wave.

Mercifully for Daria, the game started and she found it as mesmerizing as badminton. Daria realized early on that she had a long way to go to be anywhere near the level of the players on the floor. She smiled inside at every good move Mai made but otherwise was as silent as Siobhan was loud. Siobhan cheered and stamped her feet bringing out loud responses from the assembled crowd. Trent leaned back and occasionally added a "Nice." or "Too bad."

Even with home court advantage and enthusiastic cheering, the Lawndale team went under by two points. As Daria watched somewhat incredulously, the panting girls formed two rows on the floor and patted or clasped each other's hands. More than a few hugged opposing players. She would not be surprised if they made pizza appointments for after the game.

Daria was used to football games in Highland or the few games in Lawndale her father dragged her too on occasion. Players-winning or losing-only grudgingly shook their opponent's hands and appeared to be close to fisticuffs.

Daria's mother tsk-tsked but she was happy to have the steady profit Jake made from betting on high-school football. Jake would bet against the home team if he felt that was the winning edge and then cheer lustily at the game for them to win. When they lost he would happily and quietly collect his winnings, one of the traits which Daria admired about her father. She made a decision then that maybe going to football games wasn't so bad, if she could get betting tips from her dad. Or, she smiled slightly, maybe she could become a girls' volleyball shark.

"Girls' volleyball." Trent concluded with a wisp of smile playing at the wisps of his beard. "Night Daria, night Siobhan." He ambled off.

"They lost," Daria said unnecessarily as she and Siobhan joined the crowd slowly filtering out.

"Yeah, you win some, you lose some," Siobhan summarized. "We're actually better than Briarwood but some nights you just don't got it in you, ya know? We've still got a great record."

Siobhan appeared to think a moment before proposing, "Hey, wanna come to Cluster Burger with me to console the poor losers?"

Daria suppressed a small shudder. "No, no, thanks, some other time, but I have to go finish O'Neill's flower box essay myself and then tuck the badminton queen into bed."

"Yeah, some other time," Siobhan nodded and regarded Daria more closely than necessary, Daria thought. "I think Mai was happy to see you here tonight. Okay, see ya."

Siobhan headed off to the vicinity of the locker rooms. Daria emerged into the welcome cool of the parking lot to find her mother waiting for her in the SUV.

 **AN: Thanks to everyone who has read this far. I originally intended this story to be fast-paced and actually over by the sixth chapter. As I wrote, the minor characters seemed to have more and more to say to me. This chapter, for instance, came to me from Siobhan although it is written from Daria's viewpoint. The chapter with the bumper-sticker was something that came about from Pris. I do know where I'm going with this story and I hope to speed things up after this chapter.**

 **A little word about Mai's buddies: Siobhan and Priscilla. "Siobhan Ogden" is the fanfiction name given to one of the girls on Jane's track team in** _ **See Jane Run. "**_ **Priscilla" is the fanfiction name for the tall, thin girl apparently new to the school with Daria and Quinn in the very first episode. I've addressed Mai LIng already, as far as I know the name and personality is original to this story.**

 **Again, thanks for reading and I welcome any reviews and suggestions.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Daria Digs

"Dig Daria, go for it," Mai encouraged as she lobbed another volleyball at her sweaty, panting protégé. Daria suppressed a whimper which she did not have time for as she gamely dropped to one knee and tapped the low-flying ball up and away.

Mai let her stand before lobbing another ball low and to Daria's other side. Daria had to lay herself out on the floor and stretch to bat the ball up and away. She stood and readied herself for another onslaught but Mai had run out of balls.

"Outstanding," Mai said surprising Daria with a quick hug. "You're picking this up a helluva lot faster than the girls on j-v."

Daria looked around the gymnasium at the few assembled boys regarding the two girls with frank curiosity, admiration and thinly veiled desire.

 _"Only in America would I be suffering under an evil Chinese coach while being ogled by Korean boys in a Methodist church."_

That Sunday Mai had taken them to the church at which her family attended English services, a short drive in the direction of Oakwood. The Korean Methodists in the tri-county area, Mai explained, had gotten a good deal on a former mega church building which included the full-size basketball court on which Daria was diving.

A Korean boy just a bit taller than Mai spoke to her in halting Chinese. At least Daria assumed his Chinese was better than her nearly non-existent skill. She had come to recognize the sounds of the language and Mai had gleefully taught her and Jane some of the saltier expressions. Then they both demanded that Mai teach them how to order pizza in Chinese. They were eager to try their fluency at the Good Time Chinese Restaurant.

Mai smiled at the boy and nodded. He headed over to the other side of the net.

"Devon offered to serve some a few to us. You practice your digs, Daria and I'll get 'em over the net."

Mai and Daria turned into a well-oiled machine as Devon gave them a variety of serves. At least Mai was as well-oiled as Daria was sweaty. Daria missed a few but she was actually buoyed by Mai and Devon calling encouragement. A few boys in the bleachers called some comments in Korean causing Devon to turn to them and extend a middle finger from time to time.

 _"Only in America would I be mocked in Korean and watch a Korean boy flip off his friends with an ancient European obscene gesture."_

Devon approached. "Are you coming to Sunday service, Mai?" He asked shyly. "Oh, you're invited too, Daria. We have a great band. I play drums."

Mai smiled sweetly. "Sure Devon, I'll be there and I'll see you at youth league next Wednesday too."

Devon went off with a more hopeful look than Daria thought he was likely to see fulfilled. Mai sighed and turned to Daria.

"Damn big day tomorrow. Just a shitty gym game sure, but it's for all the marbles or at least to see if the Pipsqueaks hold onto second place or suck on third."

The Pipsqueaks as Mai and everyone else insisted on calling Daria's team had rallied following the first game in which Daria had attempted to play with any effort. Daria had continued to improve under Mai's coaching and under a commitment to herself to play harder. Daria was realistic enough to know that her better play was not alone responsible for their wins. Mai was playing harder and her teammates had rallied too. Even so, they were so far behind; first place was out of their grasp. Tomorrow was the game to decide if they would 'suck on third' or have an honorable second place finish.

And Daria cared. She was galled that Morris only occasionally acknowledged her effort. She was somewhat amazed that she had come to actually enjoy volleyball and playing it hard. A combination of Mai's coaching and heeding to Jane's advice to see Quinn's face on the ball had propelled her to drive and dig deep for low balls and jump as high as her five-foot-one-and-one-half inch frame could allow.

And oddly enough, Daria was noting that her skirts seemed a tiny bit shorter lately? Was she finally growing? She'd sit through Korean services at this Methodist Church every Sunday for a year, she vowed, if she could just be taller than her kid sister.

For all her insouciance at just a stupid gym game, Daria could see that Mai was taking tomorrow seriously too. Mai stopped her from immediately getting out of Mai's truck in the driveway of Schloss Morgendorffer. She was in nervous mode again, Daria noted.

"Daria, it's just a stupid gym game but I'm going to play hard tomorrow. I know you will too, but, just remember, uh, it's just a stupid gym game. Uh, win or lose, I really enjoyed coaching you. I hope we can hang more, me and you and Jane. Maybe Pris and Siobhan too. I know we're not much alike but you know, opposites attract. Uh, I mean Pris seems kind of snotty at first and Siobhan is a little loud, ha, like me I guess. Oh, never mind."

Daria should have been impatient with Mai's hesitation and rambling but she was grateful at Mai's effort with her and Mai seemed so sincere and innocent.

She favored Mai with a small smile as sincere as it was tiny. "Win or lose there's nothing that pizza can't make better. I'll grift some cash out of my 'rents and treat everyone to a couple pies, Mai." She leaned over and embarrassed Mai and herself with a small hug.

 **DM DM DM DM DM**

Daria would have never admitted it, except maybe to Mai, but she was nervous as the Pipsqueaks faced what could be their final point. If the other team scored they would face the ignominy of third place. If the Pipsqueaks could eke out getting the serve back they would stand a chance of making the final point themselves and clinching their coveted second place.

 _"Mai's right, Morgendorffer, get a grip. It's just a shitty gym game."_

"Whoo-hoo," sounded Mai's unmistakable cheer behind her. "This is fucking awesome. For all the second-place marbles now, ladies. Let's get the serve back, Pipsqueaks."

That morning Daria had almost fallen asleep in Mr. O'Neill's class as he lectured on the hoary proverb, _For want of a nail…_ If Daria knew the full background of what happened to her next she would have amended the proverb to something like, _For want of adequate janitorial funding…_ As Daria went to bump the ball to a waiting Stacy she slipped on an almost imperceptible piece of slippery trash not swept up by the ninth-grade boys Ms. Li had hired on small wages to be apprentices to Mr. Pavlov, the head and only janitor for the large school. The ball bounced wildly off her platform and bonked Stacy on the head. Mai made a superhuman drive but only knocked it out of bounds.

As Daria recovered a collective groan went up from the third-place Pipsqueaks even as the other team cheered their resounding victory. Daria felt her heart sink as she examined the spot she had slid on. Nothing to be seen, just a tiny smudge on the bottom of her almost new sneakers. Her mother had sprung for new top-quality gym apparel, happy that Daria was taking an interest in sports.

"Damn. Fuck. Oh, well. Good game. Great comeback ladies." Daria did not have to look to see who said that.

Stacey rounded on Daria now menace written on her otherwise timid face. "What was that? Did you do that on purpose? It's like you never passed before."

"Yeah," another girl said suddenly happy to have a scapegoat. "That was a pretty easy slow ball. You should have gotten it."

"I bet she just set us up. She wanted to lose. Something for her dumb stories."

"You guys? What the fuck? She played hard. I saw her slip on some shit. These floors are fucking filthy lately. Get a damn grip. Nobody plays as hard as Daria and then throws a game at the last minute."

"Um, we're in third. There are only eight teams so we're better than average." Daria ventured. She could feel her face burning.

Tweet. "Showers, ladies," Morris called time.

"But Ms. Morris, Daria…" someone started.

By then Daria was running off the gym floor. She didn't hear Morris say, "I don't care. Tomorrow we start our limbering up and flexibility exercises unit."

Daria showered quickly, ignoring the glares of her former teammates and surprised she was fighting back tears.

"I can't fucking believe you guys. You're all two-faced rat finks. She motherfucking slipped. I saw it."

"Jeez, Mai. You don't have to stand up for her. We all know what you're after."

"And just what the hell am I after?"

Daria's heart beat faster as the two girls angrily faced each other, other girls backing away hastily. She didn't know what to do. The other girl was almost as tall as Mai and Daria knew she played basketball. She was probably Mai's equal in a fight. Should she jump on the girl's back if it came to that?

TWEET. "Is there a PROBLEM, ladies?"

"No, Ms. Morris." Mai and her antagonist echoed as they backed away from each other.

"Ling, please no more swearing. I'm getting tired of giving you detention."

"Yes, Ms. Morris."

That shut everyone up. Daria avoided everyone and everyone avoided her for the rest of the day, normally a happy circumstance for her but today she just wanted to go home. As she was getting her books out of her locker someone gently put a hand on her shoulder.

"Daria," Mai said softly. "I saw you slip and I know you would never throw a game anyway. I know you."

"Don't worry," the taller girl went on. "Tomorrow Kevin will finally asphyxiate himself or he'll shove olives up his nose and everyone will forget about this."

"Thanks, Mai," Daria said sincerely with more emotion than usual for her.

"So," Mai rubbed the back of her head and looked down. "Wanna go hang out at the park with Pris and Vonny and me? Maybe you and I can gang up on Pris? Or we can get Vonny away from her damn laps around the park and have a game. You're a good player. Hell, if you weren't such a shrimp, I'd invite you to join the team next year. Hey, maybe you could try basketball? Never mind that...witch in the shower. She's really not so bad, just a little too competitive. And she plays basketball." Mai shuddered.

Daria should have been mad at Mai teasing about her lack of height but she saw Mai's coy smile and returned a tiny one of her own.

"No thanks, Mai. I think I just wanna go talk to Jane. Some other time for the park and your friends. Really, I want to."

"Sure, Daria, I understand."

Mai hesitated then gave her a brief hug. Daria watched as she turned and walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Daria Digs

"I should have known better and remained my standard, tried and true lazy self, Jane." Daria declared, once more supine on Jane's bed as Jane painted. Breeze from windows which Daria insisted on opening wide stirred the auburn hair hanging off the foot of the bed.

"I had Mai coach me and I practiced and played hard. How can they believe I threw a lousy gym game? Well, not without a nice bribe anyway. Just to get material for a Melody Powers story? Just to laugh at them all when we lost? I mean, I'm sadistic, sure, but I've got more style than that. And Melody doesn't do volleyball; she plays rugby. That's it. For the rest of my life, I'm swearing off all physical activity more strenuous than lifting a Giganto-sized Ultra Cola to my lips."

"Don't forget eventually lifting your giganto-sized body off the couch," Jane added a few strokes to her work which she was secreting from Daria for the moment.

"Daria," Jane began. "I don't believe you intentionally threw the game…"

"Intentionally?" Daria turned over to regard her friend intensely. "So you think I lost subconsciously?"

Daria continued with more vehemence, "I slipped on something. Mai backs me up; she saw it."

Jane let out an exasperated sigh. "Daria, if I didn't know you had good reasons to be practically the most paranoid person I know, except maybe Penny, I'd be so pissed off at you by now…" She shook her head.

"Let's review a few things," Jane said as she vigorously put a few more swabs of color on her canvas. "You started this whole become a volleyball ace thing to show up Coach Morris, right?"

"That," Daria admitted slowly. "And to score all those lucrative volleyball endorsement contracts."

"So you showed Morris even skinny slacker pipsqueaks can succeed. I don't think Morris really cares but that's something else. But in the process didn't you actually come to like to play?"

Daria buried her head in a pillow and squeaked an indistinct answer.

"What's that, Morgendorffer?" Jane prodded.

She raised her head. "Yeah, I like volleyball. Okay, there, how much hush money do you want for your silence?"

Jane relished that tiny victory with a small fiendish smile. "Maybe just pose _au naturale_ for me sometime. Yeah, that's actually a good pose right now, Daria. On your tummy. Hmm…maybe reading a book. With your boots by the bed." Jane put the non-business end of her brush under her chin and regarded her chum critically.

Daria shuddered. "In your dreams, Lane."

Jane pursued her topic. "Sure someday. Now then, don't you actually feel better now, Daria? After a couple weeks of consistent exercise. More alert. Sleep better at night. All those good things from a little clean living? Oh, and you can eat more pizza too."

"Okay, you got me there too." Daria admitted.

"And let's not forget probably the best thing to come out of pursuing a volleyball career." Jane put her brushes in a jar of solvent and carefully turned the easel toward Daria. "Lookee, no touchee. Paint's still wet."

Daria's eyes widened at the scene on the wide, long canvas. Sunlight was streaming into a generic cobblestoned courtyard of a medieval castle. Diving onto the stones was a female figure in a Lawndale High volleyball uniform, unmistakably Daria. The ball was inches from the figure but Jane's technique was so dramatic that the viewer could not tell whether Daria had successfully dug for the ball or was just beginning her dig. Standing behind a white line on the stones was Mai in gleaming silvery full plate armor. Her long black hair flowed from a shining, winged open-faced helm. A sword of mythical size and design was strapped to her side along with a quiver of arrows. She held a strung bow in her left hand. Mai was looking at Daria approvingly.

"And you got to know Mai," Jane concluded.

"Wow," Daria could only say. She got off the bed and found the best spot to take in Jane's latest.

"And to think this was inspired just by Trent finding a dusty, old bow in the basement when Mystik Spiral was moving speakers around to try to sound less sucky." Jane gestured toward something in a corner.

Daria went over and found a curved archery bow laminated of several shades of wood. It wasn't dusty now although a frayed obviously worn-out string was hanging loosely from it. Daria picked it up surprised at how light was the nearly as tall as she length of wood. She turned to Jane while trying to figure out how the unfamiliar thing worked.

"Um, Daria. I quit girl scouts before I ever shot a bow but even I know you're holding it backwards." Daria reddened and flipped the narrow tips away from her body.

"And upside down." Jane concluded with a smirk as Daria turned the bow's ends over.

"I don't know who got that thing," Jane went on. "Maybe Dad or Wind trying to get in touch with our few drops of Native American blood. Trent and I looked around but never found any arrows."

Daria found herself holding the bow out in what she imagined was the correct stance. She found her eyes following the flowing length of the shaft as it curved towards her then gently away at the tips.

Jane tilted her head and considered her friend looking the bow over again and again. "Just take it, Daria. It looks like it's made for you."

"Take it?" Daria said surprised. "Oh, no. I can't, it's too beautiful. And it has to be worth something. Don't you want to learn to use it, Jane? Or Trent?"

"Nah, Trent's weapon is his sound and he'd probably fall asleep and shoot his foot. Me, I'm an expert in the secret Ninja art of throwing loaded paint brushes. Just take it and terrorize Quinn."

"You drive a hard bargain, Jane. I won't argue any longer."

"Well, consider it a down payment for that nude on her tummy pose some day." Jane smirked again.

"Arg, okay, first order of business: buy a new string. Then some suction cup arrows and learn how to hunt you and Quinn."

Daria sat on the bed and laid the bow across her lap. She stroked it as she changed the subject. "Speaking of Queen Battledore, congratulations on your fine badminton triumph over the evil forces of Sandi and Tori."

Jane bowed graciously. "Yes! And I almost forgot the big news about Her Grace. Did you know Ms. Li is a badminton nut? She watched the final match between us and Sandi and Tori and got all excited. She wants the four of us to compete against her rival principals' schools. Apparently the other podunks in the tri-county area have doubles teams starting up."

"She probably has side bets going. Hold out for a share or threaten to throw a game. I apparently am an expert on that." Daria advised.

"Oh, that's not all," Jane said gleefully. "Li thinks she has the best team arrangements figured out: me partnered with Tori…"

Daria sat up straighter and concluded happily deadpan, "Which means Quinn and Sandi. Together. A team. Sandi and Quinn. How much is the attendance fee for games? I need to start saving up. I'd pay a dollar and a quarter for the privilege of watching those two teamed up. Hell, you could charge me for watching Quinn trying not to kill Sandi with a racket at practice."

Jane went on, "I believe Quinn's first words upon hearing of her new teammate were: 'But aubergine is so not me.' Actually, I think Li's a smart bunny in this case at least. Tori and I suit each other better even than Quinn and me. And the same for Sandi and Quinn's styles of play. Provided they don't run out of breath arguing."

Daria glanced at the clock. "Mom and Dad are off on some retreat. They felt guilty about leaving Quinn and me alone for the weekend so we each got a wad of cash. Let's go back to my place and order pizzas with every combination we can think of. Working that out will be good for your math, Jane."

As the girls headed out Daria looked at the painting again. "Are you going to show that to Mai Ling sometime?"

Jane looked down embarrassed. "I actually got her permission to paint something with her in it. I'll, uh, show it to her sometime, sure. You can be there too, of course."

"Oh, so you got her permission but didn't mention it to me, hrm? I have a feeling there's something more going on here, Lane."

Jane protested her innocence and utter and complete lack of ulterior motives most of the few blocks from Casa Lane to Daria's house. The bow felt so natural in Daria's hand that she almost forgot she was carrying it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Daria Digs**

Daria and Jane turned as they heard Mai's truck stop in front of Schloss Morgendorffer. Mai Ling got out and approached the girls. Daria took in Mai's cut-off jean shorts with an unfamiliar stirring feeling in her heart. Mai looked nervous until her eyes brightened as she took in the bow Daria was carrying.

"Wow, nice bow. An old Fred Bear recurve."

"Yeah," Daria said, wondering if Mai was there to recruit her for the volleyball team. "Jane just gave it to me. But we don't know anything about how to shot it. I was planning to skewer some squirrels for an early Father's Day present, too."

"Lemme take a look," Mai stuck out her hand and Daria deposited the bow into it. Mai held the bow by one end then the other turning it and carefully sighting down the length. Then she ran her eyes over every inch slowly and closely.

"Well, the string's shit but you probably know that. I think the bow's in great condition, but you should have Junior or Senior at Conrad's Archery Fun Shoppe take a look. If they think it's safe to shoot they'll set you up with a new string and show you how to string it and, and whatever other tackle you want, they got. Uhm, tell them I sent you."

She handed the bow back. "Uhm, can I come in? I can't stay long. I wanted to ask you something, Daria." Mai put a hand behind her head and rubbed her thick, black hair. She was keeping her eyes down but glanced up at Jane once or twice.

"Sure," Daria let the girls in. Mai declined the offered soda but Jane, of course, accepted.

"Daria," Mai began uncertainly, fidgeting in the foyer. "I...uh...I got a nice recurve myself and a longbow. Hmmm, how about this Saturday afternoon I pick you up and take you to the range? You don't have to buy any arrows or other stuff now, just bring your bow. We can use all my junk otherwise." Mai was glancing up uncertainly into Daria's eyes and then down.

"I think you're really cool, Daria, and I'd like to get to know you better. We can get pizza after or whatever you like, my treat." Mai bit her lip then, probably aware she was starting to sound desperate.

"I would like to learn how to use this bow. It would be fun if you could teach me. But pizza's on me; I owe you for volleyball lessons too, Mai." Daria said stiffly; she tried to add a smile as she looked into Mai's eyes.

"Hot Damn." Mai smiled widely. She gave Daria a quick, firm smooch on the cheek. Daria surprised herself and Jane by standing on her toes and turning to make it easier for Mai to kiss her.

"Thanks. Fu.., I mean, so Saturday then. Well, gotta go. See ya." Mai said.

Daria opened the door for Mai and watched her walk to her car with a jauntier step than she used when approaching Schloss Morgendorffer.

Daria called after her, "Yeah. Yeah, see you then." She turned to Jane who was slouched on a couch.

"Was what just happened what I think just happened?" She asked Jane. Daria could feel her face burning.

"If what you thought was that you just got asked out on a date then, yeah, I'd say that what happened is what you thought happened," Jane opined with a note of certainty. "And Daria, you might think Mai Ling is your average submissive little Asian girl but I bet you would be in for a big surprise."

"Oh? You know more about this than you're telling me, don't you, Jane?"

"Well, a couple days ago Mai came to talk to me…"

Daria's paranoia interrupted, "Oh, so she asked you first and you said no. I'm second choice. Not that I'm surprised."

Jane sprang up and approached Daria with her eyes hard and hand up and open as if for a slap. Daria flinched.

Jane exhaled hard and dropped her hand. "Jeez, Daria, I don't know whether to pity you or be pissed at you. In the first place if my door swung that way and a cute chick like Mai asked me out I would be in her truck in a New York minute. In the second place she first asked me if I thought that you thought that she was pretty. I said anyone in their right mind would think she was beautiful and, while I had my doubts about you at times, you were mostly in your right mind. Then in the third place she secondly asked me if I thought you would go out with her. I said she had better man up and ask you quick before some other girl or guy beat her to it. Then she thanked me and swore me to secrecy. I told her I was honored that she trusted me. And you know what? She said all that without swearing at all. She's weird that way I guess; when she's nervous she doesn't swear."

Jane ran out of steam. Their eyes fell on the beautiful bow with shabby string which Daria had laid across the arms of an overstuffed chair.

"Pizza first then let's call my place and get Trent to take us down to Ye Olde Archery Emporium or Shoppey or whatever," Jane proposed. "You need a new string, Morgendorffer."

 **DM DM DM DM DM DM**

Mai rang the doorbell of Schloss Morgendorffer. She jumped a little as the door was instantly thrown open by a man still wearing a stiff-looking business suit on a Saturday afternoon. His eyes widened as he stood eye to eye with the equally tall Asian girl facing him on his step.

"Uhm, hello, Mr. Morgendorffer?"

The man turned and yelled up the stairs behind him, "Quinn, your date's here." She barely heard him mutter, "Wow, I really don't know my kids."

"Uhm, sir. No, I'm here to see Daria."

"Daria?" The man said obviously nonplussed.

"Yes sir, Daria. I'm Mai Ling. We're classmates. We're going to the archery range this afternoon."

The man turned and yelled upstairs again. "Daria, your, ah, classmate's here."

He turned back to her. "Oh, sorry. Come in, uh, Mai Ling.

Daria came down the stairs carrying a small bag and the Fred Bear bow equipped with a new string. She and Mai had both chosen to wear black jeans. Mai had a tee-shirt proclaiming, "Proud to be a farmer's daughter" and showing an incongruous blonde girl sucking a long-stemmed length of grass. Daria had on a plain dark green tee.

"I'm sorry too, Mai," Daria began. "I intended to rescue you before you met my family, but I was practicing stringing and unstringing like Junior taught me. Dad, this is Mai Ling. She is slowly turning me into a volleyball powerhouse force to be reckoned with. Mai, this is my father, Jake Morgendorffer.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Morgendorffer. Let's go, Daria, time's awastin'. It's a great day to loose some arrows."

The two moved outside followed by a curious Jake. His eyes brightened as he took in Mai's huge, red pickup parked in their driveway.

"Wow, a 4X4 with crew cab! I've always wanted one but no, 'Jake, we have to get something practical.' Practical, huh? Try hauling a billiards table over a rushing mountain stream in a luxury SUV."

Mai giggled, delighted at Jake's praise for her pride and joy.

"Mai, we'd better go before Dad wants a ride and begs to beep the horn."

Mai put Daria's bow carefully in a long quilted case and then rested it on the bed with similar cases and a couple small bags and plastic canisters. Mai stretched a dark canvas cover over the bed securing it tightly. As they pulled away Quinn's first date for the day pulled up. Mai burst into sincere laughter.

"Wow, your Dad's a real damn hoot. I like him! We should get him and Leo together at the farm sometime."

"Leo?"

"Yeah, you know, my pops, Leonard Ling. Aww, c'mon don't you call your old man 'Jake' once in a while? It seems to make my dad both a little fucking peeved and happy at the same time."

"Gotta keep 'em guessing," Daria surmised. "Are you calling your mom by her first name then?"

"Good point," Mai conceded and sucked her teeth. "I don't think me calling Mom 'Mavis' would fly. Now, did you get any gear besides a new string?"

"Yes, a stringer, an armguard and a shooting glove. The glove is even Quinn-approved. She said it matched my eyes."

Mai laughed, "Now that's downright essential. We wouldn't want to be uncoordinated."

Mai took her on side streets Daria had never been down. Mai began to quietly sing a bit in Chinese, Daria guessed. She was smiling broadly when not signing.

"Oh, sorry, I'll just shut up."

"Not for me, Mai, please. That's beautiful."

Daria did not know what to make of Mai, the situation or herself for that matter. Mia seemed to be nervous, all but bouncing at the wheel in happiness and her usual cocksure self all simultaneously.

And Daria herself? Was she really out on a date with a girl, with Mai? Jane had assured her that Mai thought of the situation as such or very much hoped it so. Was Daria just along for the ride, like she felt in so many other situations in her life?

" _Okay, play it by ear; wing it, just fly by the seat of your pants, Morgendorffer."_ she told herself. _"Oh, forgot one, go with the flow. But nothing happens that you don't let happen to you."_

Mai was careful to avoid the huge ruts in the gravel parking lot she pulled into. She shook her head.

"Lawndale spends all this money on a pretty damn nice archery range and the parking lot's a real axle-busting shit-hole. Go figure."

Mai had taken her through Lawndale's light industrial zone and they were on the edge of town, she surmised. Daria looked around at the high, mature trees surrounding three sides of the parking lot. Where was the range?

She was about to hop out when Mai commanded, "Just wait a sec."

Mai jumped out and ran around to open Daria's door. Sticking her hand up for Daria to take she smiled sweetly and said, "Please."

Daria had to laugh at the absurdity and sincerity behind the gesture which Mai seemed to be well aware she was putting into it.

"Why thank you, kind sir, uh, madame. It pleases me that chivalry is not dead in these philistine times."

She took Mai's hand and alighted as delicately as a five-foot-one-and-a-half-inch young woman could from a massive pickup truck. Daria was happy for the chivalry to end there as Mai handed her the case with her bow and a few pieces of gear. Mai hefted the other gear bags.

Mai led her to a narrow break in the trees. She paused and gestured to a large sign overshadowed by trees. "Here's the rules. Read 'em over but I'll give you my version too. Big thing is safety, of course. Don't go out to fetch your arrows until everybody yells, 'Clear.' Then don't shoot again until everybody gets back behind the line and yells, 'Clear' again. It sounds fucking dorky, I know, but it works. I've never heard of anyone getting stuck. It says only shoot five arrows at a round but I consider that mostly for the wheel-bow—the compound bow boys. They take a damn lot more time than us traditional archers so I usually shoot six in a round. You're a newb so you're gonna be slow today, Daria, but if you keep it up you'll spend more time waiting for them then they'll ever spend waiting for you."

Mai let her read the sign. She led Daria down a tree-shaded wood-chipped path for about a hundred yards. The two glanced at each other and Daria enjoyed seeing flashes of sun play on Mai's dark hair. Before the path ended she started hearing thick thwacks and the occasional soft twang.

"Daria, you're a natural. Volleyball and now archery." Mai concluded as Daria's arrow sunk into the center spot once more at a twenty-yard lane. After a brief intro at a short ten yard lane Mai had considered her ready to shoot at longer distances. The satisfying thunk of arrow hitting butt brought small smiles to Daria after each shot.

"Maybe those thick glasses act like telescopic sights," Mai speculated.

Daria stuck out her tongue and rolled her shoulders before drawing another arrow from the quiver which Mai had carefully strapped to her side.

"Here, let me show you another way to draw." Mai moved in and put her hands over Daria's carefully arranging Daria's fingers on the string. "Get used to a few different draws and you can decide which one you like the best."

Daria shifted back almost snuggling into Mai's arms. Both girls shivered and moved a bit apart. Then Mai stepped away and let Daria draw, aim and loose.

After another half-hour, Mai declared it enough for the day. The two unstrung their bows and walked slowly back to the parking lot without talking. They glanced at each other as the trees waved in the breeze and cast coins of bright sunlight over the path.

 **DM DM DM DM DM**

Mai and Daria stowed their gear in the pickup bed. Mai secured the canvas over the bed. "Thanks Mai. That was fun. Now I have a more practical weapon to terrorize Quinn with."

"Daria, it's still early yet for pizza. Well, okay, I know you and Jane can eat pizza anytime but I have to work up an appetite. Let's walk on the trails." She jutted her chin out to the woods at one side. "There's a really pretty spot I want to show you."

Daria assented and Mai took off at a quick trot. Daria for once was up to some running and tried to catch up and then keep up with the long-legged girl on the gravel trails twisting and turning through the heavy trees. As she was beginning to wonder just how much of Lawndale they were running through, the trail opened unexpectedly onto the shore of a large pond.

Mai followed the shore for a few yards until she sat on a bench Daria had not noticed until it was right in front of her. The sun was to their backs over the heavy trees, shining on the water. The two girls sat closely on the shaded small bench and chatted.

"I about peed myself when that parakeet got pissed at its owner," Mai said about a _Sick, Sad World_ episode. Daria chuckled at Mai's two separate, distinct urine references in less than a second.

Daria turned to Mai and was about to start an enthusiastic response given in her usual deadpan.

"Yeah, and then the owner…" Daria begun as Mai leaned in, parted her lips and kissed her. A gentle hand whispered around Daria's head and caressed her hair. Almost without noticing, Daria leaned closer and brought her hand up to stroke Mai's face. She pressed her lips against Mai's a bit tighter. Daria's eyes widened in surprise then closed in pleasure.

" _My, my first kiss. It's with Mai. It's good! She's good! Mai's a girl. I'm a girl."_

Daria pushed away. Mai shot away from her to the end of the short bench and buried her face in her hands. Daria went to the water's edge, picked up stone and surprised herself by making it skip four times over the water's smooth surface. She watched the ripples interlace and spread back to her.

Mai was standing up with her hands over her mouth when she turned. Tears glistened hugely at the edges of her eyes.

Daria approached her with a dry mouth. "Mai, we're girls."

That obvious fact seemed the most important thing in the world to Daria just then. She moved closer and attempted to look up into Mai's eyes; Mai tried to avoid the eye contact.

"I know. Daria, oh, oh I'm sorry." Mai was on the verge of flowing tears.

"Mai, we're girls. I'm happy."

Daria closed more distance and attempted to close vertical distance by standing on her black-booted tiptoes and putting her hands on Mai's shoulders. She could feel Mai shiver. She could hardly believe what she was doing as Mai dropped her hands from her mouth and bent her lips to Daria's.

The vertical distance difference problem was soon remedied by Mai as she sat on the bench and pulled Daria onto her lap. A position which Daria had not assumed on anyone's lap for years but one she grew quickly to enjoy as she put her arms around Mai while Mai embraced her. Mai gently removed Daria's glasses and set them aside.

" _We're girls. I'm happy."_ Daria forced herself not to verbalize any thought but that as she enjoyed the strong arms holding her and the soft lips moving on hers.

Coarse, shrill whistles sounded from the path. _"Ms. Morris!?"_ Daria thought irrationally as she and Mai sprang apart. The two tunelessly whistling kids with fishing poles barely gave them a glance although Daria was sure the hot red she could feel spreading on her face broadcast to the world exactly what she had just enjoyed.

The two young women said nothing as they walked back to Mai's truck. As soon as they were out of view of the pond hand found hand and clasped. Utterly unnecessarily and utterly delightfully Daria let Mai help her into the red truck.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Daria Digs

"That's fucking instant death or dismemberment," Mai said earnestly. "Stay away from the damn PTO."

Daria and Jane did not have to be warned twice. Almost everything on the Ling's farm was unfamiliar to them and the power take-off or 'PTO' as Mai called it was innocently dangerous in appearance. A grooved shaft stuck out the back of the Ling's tractor and slipped onto it was a square shaft with a swivel-end near the tractor. This shaft powered a long chute on a wheeled triangular base, something Mai called the elevator. Even to Daria the square shaft looked inadequately protected by a loose round steel sleeve.

Daria looked around herself not for the first time, hardly believing that she and Jane were on a farm only a few miles outside Lawndale.

Mai had driven them over gently rolling hills and into a whole new world for Daria. The breeze brought her sweet smells off rolling fields of grasses and some plant which Mai called alfalfa.

Mai had rolled her eyes when Daria joked that she expected barnyard smells and pigs rooting about freely. Except for a friendly farm dog and cats sleeping in the sun no animals were to be seen or smelled.

The long gravel driveway up to a well-maintained stone house boasted a banner reading "Ling's Certified Organic Acres." Jane had run by the Ling's farm many times but she too was looking around with interest.

"Nǐmen zhǔnbèi hǎole ma?" Mai's father called out the wide door of the haymow. He was standing by the other end of the elevator. Mr. Ling translated for Jane and Daria's benefit, "Are you all ready then?"

Mai gave a couple more pumps of her grease gun into a nozzle on the elevator and waved at him, "Yep, Ba. That's the last zerk. And I've scared them enough about the PTO. They'll just stay and on the hay rack and stack bales."

Mr. Ling retreated inside the haymow as Mai clambered into the seat of the high red Farmall tractor. She brought it to a loud throaty life and shifted a couple levers. With a well-oiled clatter the metal bars inside the elevator began moving up towards the hay mow. Daria and Jane kept their eyes on the rapidly spinning PTO and connected shaft.

"Shit!" Mai called loud enough to be heard over the tractor. She looked embarrassed as she shifted a level or two and brought the elevator to a halt. Her father came to the door and wagged a finger at her while half-smiling.

"I do that about every third time," Mai yelled. A moment later the elevator started in the other direction and moments after that rectangular bales of hay started coming down the chute. Daria and Jane were fascinated by the spinning PTO and shaft until it came time for them to actually do some work.

Mai effortlessly grabbed bale after bale and threw them on the rack. With a bit more effort Daria and Jane wrapped their gloved fingers under twine on a bale and together carried it to the end of the rack. They started building a stack following Mai's instructions. They quickly marveled that one man in the haymow and one classmate on the ground could easily keep the two of them busy stacking bales.

Soon enough the trio had built a solid stack of bales on the rack. Jane and Daria caught their breaths as Mai moved the rack out of the way and brought up another rack to fill. Mrs. Ling came out just as Daria tucked the final bale into place and Mai killed the tractor.

"Great work, girls," she told panting Jane and Daria. "That's a big help. Now you come in and clean up while Mai and Leonard finish up. By the time they're done I'll have supper almost ready."

Daria smiled at Mrs. Ling's soft, honeyed Southern tones, such a contrast to Mr. Ling's flat Midwestern speech. She recognized both influences in Mai's inflections. She and Jane walked to the stone farmhouse with Mrs. Ling. She showed them to Mai's small second story room which impressed Daria with its attached bathroom.

" _Not having to share with Quinn and her acres of organic makeup. Ahh, farm living is the life for me."_

"Towels are in the cabinets, girls. Take what you need and put them in the hamper when you're done. Come down for supper then."

"See something you like?" Jane asked Daria who was staring at a poster on Mai's wall. Daria drudged up the name 'Farrah Fawcett' as she took in the blonde woman in the pink one-piece. Almost unconsciously Daria looked down at her tee-shirt and compared it to the erect nipples on the poster.

"No, no," Daria assured Jane. "I just know that's an old poster. I'm surprised it's not more faded and worn out. And I'm admiring her wide-ranging musical tastes."

"Sure you are," Jane smirked. Posters of Suzi Quatro, Pat Benatar, Janis Joplin, Patti Smith and pretty girls which Daria took to be Chinese popstars adorned other walls. Farrah Fawcett had pride of place; Daria realized. It would be the first thing Mai saw when sitting up in bed in the morning. Close to Farrah was a poster with Johnny Cash's rugged visage. Daria wondered what Mr. and Mrs. Ling made of their daughter's bedroom wall adornment. It was definitely different from Quinn's boy band posters.

"Jane," Daria began slowly. "Thanks for not being weirded out by, uhm, you know."

"Uhm, I know what?" Jane asked happy to make Daria squirm a bit. "Daria, this is new to both of us and I suspect Mai too, really. I don't think she's ever had a girlfriend and I'm a bit dubious about her taste in wenches, but if it makes you both happy, I say great. I'm straight as Country 55 out there. So are Pris and Siobhan, I think, but we're happy to support our best little gay buddies. Just don't expect me to shower with you."

Jane smirked as she met Daria's glare. Jane had to add to the fire.

"But there is one thing I just can't get over, Morgendorffer."

To Daria's arched eyebrow of curiosity and warning Jane took a step back before she chanted. "You're dating a jock. You're dating a jock."

Mai's bedroom was small but even so Jane managed to mostly avoid an incensed Daria. Daria had trapped her in a corner and was warily moving in just as a freshly showered Mai arrived. Quickly assessing the situation Mai threw a pillow to Daria and squealed, "Get her!"

"No fair, no fair," Jane protested as the two girls began to pummel her with pillows. "Two against one."

Jane managed to wrest a pillow from Mai and counter-attack. All three were happily shrieking and whirling about Mai's room until it seemed a cessation of hostilities was in order. They stopped and stood looking at each other, Mai and Jane grinning like loons and Daria sharing a small, sincere smile.

Mai was a veteran of pillow fights from sleep-overs with Pris and Siobhan. For Jane it was her first, her sisters having been too old to scrap with their kid sister. For Daria it was the first innocent pillow fight of her life. She still kept a shredded pillow from the last battle two years previous; it served to remind herself that Quinn was stronger than she looked and Quinn instinctively fought dirty. The situation had brought about The Great Living Room Seating Arrangement Truce which both sisters honored scrupulously. Mrs. Ling called them down to supper as Mai was rearranging her room.

They found Mrs. Ling in the kitchen stirring a wide bowl with a pair of long, thick chopsticks. The mixture looked like chopped meat with some minced green vegetables added. Round discs of dough were spread on a floured cutting board.

"Hi girls," Mrs. Ling greeted Daria and Jane's curious looks. "I know you just finished working but we're going to put you to work on the jiaozi too."

Before she could explain, Mr. Ling came in looking clean and in fresh clothes.

"Leonard," she scolded. "You let your daughter clean up in the barn again?"

"Mavis," he took off his Case iH cap and ran his fingers through his thick salt-and-pepper hair. "You know the German pig farmer we brought the place from basically set up a whole apartment out there for when he had to stay up farrowing. And your daughter's a neat freak. She keeps it clean."

Mai moved to the table next to Daria. They glanced at each other and micro-smiled. Jane returned to pragmatic matters.

"So, Mrs. Ling. I'm hungry. Show us what to do and let's get to work so I can eat."

Mr. Ling looked at the supplies and shook his head. "You'll have to excuse me girls. Men aren't any good making jiaozi and I've got paperwork to take care of and I need to call old Jim Schwabach to come get his hay. Call me when it's time to eat."

Mai laughed, "Ba, you always say that. It's just you who can't make pretty jiaozi. But go make money for me to spend. I'll be sure we save some for you."

Mr. Ling moved off down the hall. Mai plopped a dollop of meat filling in the center of a round of dough. Too quick for Daria to follow, Mai's fingers crimped the dough wrapper together and then she held a little thing in her hand which looked like a mouse with stitches on its back.

"Cool!" Jane exclaimed.

Mai did it again slowly and Jane picked up a round herself. A few fumbling seconds later Jane's little mousey joined those of Mai and Mrs. Ling. Daria tried but her jiaozi ended up looking like exploded mice.

"Hrm, maybe I'm talented at something else in the process," she ventured. "Like eating."

"Here dear," Mrs. Ling said. "Just fold it over and pinch together tightly. You don't have to make a fancy design. We'll eat them all."

Daria's adequate jiaozi soon joined the rows. Mai and Jane were competing on intricate designs until Mrs. Ling warned them that their jiaozi might burst in the cooking. At last Mrs. Ling deemed they had enough for three hungry teens and two adults. She pulled some different looking dumplings from the refrigerator.

"My friends in Kansas taught me how to make vereniki," she said. "Or as we call it 'Mennonite jiaozi', cheese dumplings. Eating the two together can be a recipe for sorry tummies as Mai and her brother found out once. But we can have a few this time."

Mai's head jerked up and she ran to the window as they heard a car coming up the driveway.

"Tom's back!" She said excitedly and ran out the door.

"See something you like?" Daria asked a slightly blushing Jane a few moments later as they watched a tall, muscular Chinese man in his mid-twenties effortlessly pick up Mai and swing her in a hug. They were standing next to a cherry red Corvette.

"No, no just admiring the paint job." Jane asserted as she took in the slightly-jelled, short hair which Asian guys seemed to pull off so well.

Mai grinned as she broke the hug.

"Jane, Daria, this big ox is my brother, Tom Ling."

Tom gave Jane an easy smile and shook her proffered hand. He regarded Daria with a scrutiny which was beginning to make her uncomfortable until he turned back to Mai.

"Take care of her." He commanded his baby sister even as she punched him on the arm.

The four of them moved to the house as Tom asked, "Ma and Ba inside? Is supper ready? I'm starved."

"Do you even deserve to eat?" Mai teased. "The three of us just filled a couple hayracks. What did you do besides sit on your butt from Washington home?"

"Hey, sis, studying law and driving take a lot out of a guy. You mean you forced these two to work for their supper? That's cruel slavery!"

"It was our pleasure." Jane assured him. "Beats sitting at home doing nothing."

Tom bent down as the old farm dog ambled slowly up to him. He sent some time giving her a thorough petting and ear-scratching and praise.

"Wow, Hao Gou is getting slow. I guess she's really old. We got her even before you were born."

Mai got somber. "Yeah, Ba says she's not getting much out of life any more. He hinted we may have to soon…you know."

Tom stood straight and let out a slow sigh. "Yeah."

In the house Tom gave Mrs. Ling a hug and smooch on the cheek. Mr. Ling looked up into his son's eyes as they shook hands. Daria and Jane could see the affection in that formal gesture.

Mrs. Ling shepherded Daria, Jane and Tom into the dining room, despite the girls' insistence that they not cause inconvenience and just eat in the kitchen. Mai and her mother brought in steaming plates of Chinese dumplings and "Mennonite jiaozi." Daria and Jane competed on learning chopstick use.

Six people sat cozily around the Ling's dining room table. The Lings prepared bowls of spice and sauce for their guests. Tom prevented Mai from spiking Jane's bowl with a heavy infusion of hot sauce. Jane spooned a generous portion in her bowl anyway and smiled happily as she dipped jiaozi into the sauce and munched away. Daria liked the savory Chinese jiaozi but found herself more drawn to the vereniki with its heavy creamy sauce. Mai attentively spooned up servings for her.

The Lings were careful to avoid speaking in Chinese as Tom told about his third year of law school.

"The first year they scare you to death," he told Daria and Jane, his family having evidently heard this before. "The second year they work you to death, by the third year they bore you to death."

Daria sighed when she heard a car crunching the Ling's gravel driveway. "That's probably Dad come to pick up Jane and me."

Mr. Ling moved to their rarely used front door and threw it open on an about to knock Jake Morgendorffer. Jake almost dropped the bottle he was carrying but recovered quickly and gave Mr. Ling a huge smile. He pushed the bottle of red fluid into Mr. Ling's hands.

"Mr. Ling," Jake enthused as Daria was trying to decide if she should blush in embarrassment. "You probably don't remember but my wife and I were out a year ago on a date night picking your strawberries. Well, I made a couple gallons of wine out of our pickings. Here's a bottle of organic strawberry wine, homemade no sulfites."

Mr. Ling regarded the bottle with more appreciation. "Well, anyone who brings me good alcohol can call me Leo. Come in, Mr. Morgendorffer. Let's open this now and have a toast. The girls are just finishing up supper."

"Call me Jake, please, Leo. Oh hi Daria, hi Jane, hi Mai Ling."

"Dad, you can just call her, Mai." Daria told him.

"And that would explain the fruit fly infestation that _Sick, Sad World_ was thinking of investigating." She added.

Daria, Mai and Jane went up to Mai's room to gather their book bags and work clothes. Jane was suddenly conscious of her third-wheel status as Daria and Mai prepared to say goodbye. Oh, maybe even without her there, Jane thought, they would still be shyly eyeing each other.

Jane turned away discreetly as Mai hugged Daria and mumbled, "I'll see you in school."

"If my sore muscles let me get out of bed tomorrow." Daria said. "Just kidding, that was actually fun." She gave Farrah Fawcett a last look and followed Jane downstairs.

The girls found the four adults with a wine glass each in front of them. Mr. and Mrs. Ling and Tom were sipping the bright red liquid appreciatively while they listened to Jake. Daria noted that Jake's glass was almost full and hoped that did not mean he had already drained a glass or two.

"I'm telling you, Leo, Mavis, if I can make stuff this tasty just in my basement with amateur equipment you should be able to make it better on a professional scale. Wine making is as easy as drinking it. Just look at my proposals. It's all there: equipment, supplies, licenses needed." Jake tapped on a thick folder in front of him and slid it across to Mr. Ling.

Mr. Ling sipped again. "We'll look everything over, Jake. This IS great tipple. You're right, it took three years to get certified organic and maybe it's time to take it to the next level. I got a whole big barn with clean concrete floors and not much else in it. I AM getting tired of baling hay."

Mr. Ling looked up at Daria. "Your daughter's a hard worker and Mai thinks the world of her. I take that as a good reflection on her folks. I bet we would make good partners."

Daria and Mai turned to each other in surprise. "Fuck," Mai whispered and then winced as her mother gave her the look.

"With my marketing and distribution contacts we have half the battle won before we start." Jake assured him.

Jake gave Leo another bottle and they all made their goodbyes. Jake was a cheerful fellow as he drove Jane and Daria down the driveway and towards Lawndale.

"Dad, you're going to become a bootlegger?" Daria opened with.

Jake chuckled. "Ha, the real money is in being legit. This organic thing's only gonna get bigger and bigger and Mr. Ling's on the cusp of it. He just needs an exciting new product. Yep, Little Jakey learned one good thing in military school: how to make booze!"

"Are you going to get your hands dirty, Dad? And here's the big one: does Mom agree to all this?"

"You bet she does, kiddo!" Jake concentrated on the road even as his eyes got a far-away look. "We made our own wine on the commune. The Lings grow high quality fruit. Ahh, just our little chance to get away from the rat race a bit and become one with the land."

"Yeah, just stay away from the demon-PTO or you'll become one with the land another way." Daria warned.

She heard soft breathing from the back seat and turned to see Jane snoozing away. Daria felt the full effects of a tummy full of two kinds of dumplings and an early evening of hard work. By the time they got to Jane's house she did not even wake up as Jake went to get Trent to help Jane into her house.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Daria Digs

Daria practically sleep-walked up to her bedroom after she and Jake got home from dropping Jane off. She was ready to hop into bed until she came to Quinn's room. Quinn turned and preened before her mirror modeling a short blue and yellow uniform which Daria at first took to be a Lawndale High cheerleader uniform. Then she remembered that Quinn, as one of the four best players in Lawndale High's short badminton history, was preparing to face rival teams for school glory, Ms. Li's edification and possible side bets.

"What? No aubergine? Sandi must be crushed. Can she even play in primary colors?"

"Oh hi Daria. No, Sandi has to get used to wearing bright blue and yellow. Me too, although I think a blue a few shades lighter would better highlight my hair. Do you think if I got the football team behind it we could tone down the school colors?"

Quinn followed her to her bedroom. Daria was considering various ways to tell her to get lost but Quinn spoke up.

"Did you and Jane work hard on Mai's farm? I hope Jane didn't strain her rotator crust or whatever you call that shoulder thingy. We have our first big match next week. Oakwood has had a badminton team for a couple years but Ms. Li says we can take those girls. She kept saying something about the Vegas odds being in her favor too. I think that means we have the home court advantage."

"Thanks for the tip, Quinn. Dad and I might have to call a couple people later about that. No, Jane and I are fine. Her dad worked us slavishly but her mom fed us excellent bread and water."

"Oh, that's good. I think if you work hard like that you can even have it with butter. Umm, Daria?"

"Uhm, Quinn?"

"So you and Mai?"

The urge to beat Quinn into getting lost rose strong in Daria but she realized that would only send Quinn running and blabbing to her parents. Daria was trying not to deal with the idea of telling her parents about her and Mai. She knew it was called coming out but she almost wasn't sure what she had to come out about. She and Mai had tried to talk about it but soft lips always got closed by other soft lips. They had made a half-promise to discuss "our relationship" sometime in the indefinite future.

"Me and Mai what, Quinn? And ten bucks not to answer that and not to talk about it ever again. Eep." Daria realized she was acting too suspiciously.

"What? No, don't worry, Daria. Well, okay, twenty. No, I mean I know this is just you being weird again. You gotta be you and this is just another way of doing it. It's okay if it's kind of gross and strange. I think I can grow into handling it."

"Well, gee thanks, Quinn. I was so worried about how this was all going to affect you. But I'm glad you're being so mature, not that I'm admitting anything."

"Oh, it's okay. I am a freshman now after all. Soon I'll be going into the world and meeting all kinds of other weird people. Good to get used to it now, I guess."

"I'm glad to serve my purpose of easing you into the big, wide world, Quinn."

Daria beat down her beat down Quinn impulses and broached a more important topic.

"But, okay, you're sort of cool with Mai, not that I'm admitting anything, but what about Mom and Dad? Do you think they uhm, suspect? And how do you know anything anyway? It's not like Mai and I have been holding hands and skipping down Lawndale High hallways."

"Oh, Daria. You're so innocent. Half the school knows and doesn't care. You guys even convinced Sandi that you couldn't possibly be my sister since I can't possibly be gay. I wasn't sure myself until I saw Upchuck crying over a volleyball game program and sobbing something about 'precious, sweet chrysanthemum of the Orient lost to me'."

"God, yet another reason never to go to school again. But what about Ma and Ba? I mean Mom and Dad?"

"Oh? Well, remember when Mai came to pick you up? Dad thought she was my date! Eep, yipe, but he didn't seem more than usually upset about the idea. Of course, I had to make sure he saw Corey open his car door for me. And...and I even let him kiss me on the cheek before our fifth date just so Daddy could see it." Quinn shuddered with the enormity of that concession.

"Mom, I don't know about, Daria. She's busy at work but you know as a lawyer she's used to reading people all the time. I don't know how good her gaydar is...teehee...Stacy taught me that word, but if I were you I'd be prepared with a good excuse or a good coming out story...ha...Tiffany taught me that one. But Dad wants to partner with the Lings, Mom told me; that's going to bring everybody together more often, you know. But you know what? I think Mom was sort of betting on you and Jane. And what's not to like about Mai anyway? If you can ignore her mouth, she's actually really nice to people, even the unpopular ones. And she's a brain and an athlete."

Daria stared at her little sister. She was half overcome with fatigue and half pumped up at Quinn's perceptive rambling. She yawned hugely and yielded to her tired muscles.

"Thanks Quinn, you're being amazingly, uh, mature about this all. But I'm beat and we've got school tomorrow."

"Sure Daria. You know I'm actually happy you're finding someone. It'll take your mind off all those weird books and Mai's pretty popular. Everyone needs a popularity boost."

"Yep, that's exactly why I'm doing it-not that I'm admitting anything."

Quinn moved for the door. "Oh, Daria. I've got a couple bottles of Fashion Club evaluated and approved fat-free creamy salad dressing in the fridge. Feel free to douse some on my celery and carrot stix tomorrow."

"Thanks, Quinn. I might just do that."

The thought, however, made the jaiozi in Daria's tummy tumble alarmingly. Still she got ready for bed without incident. Sleep was slow in coming and she lay in her bed with faces flashing before her eyes. All happy faces, fortunately, but still a bit creepy for her. Jane and Tom. Quinn. Mai. Trent and Jane. Mr. and Mrs. Ling and her own parents. Pris and Siobhan and even the girls from the disbanded Pipsqueaks. After giving her pillow a few swift punches Daria found a dreamless night.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Daria Digs

Daria stared at the paper which had fallen from Mai's backpack on their way to Mai's truck.

"Mai, a 'D'?" She asked hardly believing.

"Daria, Give me that." Mai's face was as bright as the big red letter on the chemistry test.

Mai stuffed it into her pack and securely zipped it shut. She double-timed her steps to her truck and Daria followed as quickly as her shorter legs could manage.

"Mai, I only got a ninety-three on the test but I know you're better in chemistry than me."

"Can you just let it fucking go? You don't have to know everything. This grade is a one-off. I can take care of it."

Daria bit her lip. She was a bit surprised with herself caring that much about Mai's grade.

"Take care of it? Sure, you can study extra hard for the next test. We can study together. Look, I know Quinn and Jane are smart but they're satisfied with getting less than they could. Mai, I know you're different. More like me-that's not an insult-you want and you can get straight 'A's."

Mai kept her eyes strictly on driving as she answered. "Yeah, that's okay. I can damn well take care of it on my own Thanks."

"Yeah, we can start by studying instead of going to the range. I'll treat you to buttered scones for tea on Dega Street. There's a great new coffee shop next to Axl's Piercing Parlor. Chemistry and watching weird people scratch their latest tattoos. Can't beat that."

Mai squinted and squirmed uneasily. "Daria, didn't you hear? I can mother-fucking take care of it."

Daria squinted back through her thick glasses. She was still getting used to Mai's mouth but she knew by now that Mai must be more than usually upset when the mother-lovin' curse was let fly.

"What's wrong with a little extra study?"

 _"Yep, Morgendorffer, just keep it up. You always knew when to quit."_

"Look," Mai snapped. "I'll just get a damn bye, okay? I don't have time to study much right now. I've got volleyball sectionals coming up and farm work and my shitty Dollar-a-Bucket store job. Oh, and I somehow had the fucking great, dumb idea I could squeeze in a girlfriend. And your dad got Leo all excited; he's had me crunch the numbers on this half-assed drunk wino wine-making idea."

"Mai? What? Uh, what's a bye?" Daria did not know what to start with. "And, uh, if I'm too much of a distraction I can always go back to watching TV in the afternoons instead of throwing hay bales or snogging you. I'll miss the bales if nothing else."

Mai just shook her head.

" _Something's drastic. Saying 'snogging' always made her laugh."_

Mai drove on as both girls sat in silence. At last Mai pressed her lips together tightly.

"A bye, my dear non-jock, is when teachers give you a passing grade on something you sucked shit at. Then you can remain eligible to play your favorite sport and bring honor and glory to Lawndale High. You can ask Kevin for further amplification although I'd bet dollars to cow pies that he's so used to it by now he doesn't give much thought to it. Probably it's so fucking automatic in his case that he doesn't even need to ask."

"That's, that's…" Daria tried to process the idea. She knew Mai and her parents held themselves to standards as high as her own. Her parents expected Mai to bring home good grades and she had seen enough of them to know they valued honesty. Mai turned into the archery range parking lot, stopped and turned off the engine. Mai gripped the wheel tightly.

"Cheating." Mai said conclusively. "It's dirty, stinking, low-down cheating."

"Do your parents know?"

"No! And you're not going to tell them."

Daria instinctively pushed herself against the passenger door as she heard Mai's hard words. Mai's eyes got wide and glistened with tears.

"Oh, oh, no, no. Oh, Daria. I didn't mean that. No, no. You're the best thing that happened to me for, Lord God, since I realized I was like this; I was gay, since I first saw you, that first school day for you."

Daria took her hand. "Mai, you can't feel right taking this bye thing. How many times have you done this?"

"Daria, I'm not a damn dunce, you know. This would be my...my second. Look, as much as I love it, I'm not playing volleyball; I'm not playing get good grades...I'm playing get the fuck out of this dump and get into a good school on the few volleyball scholarships there are. Lincoln City University has the best agronomy program in the country, probably the world. That's Ba's school and that's what I want to study."

"Mai, I know you're good in chemistry. Hey, remember you told me that Kevin almost killed himself with ammonia and chlorine bleach? See, you knew that it was dangerous because you studied it."

"Not exactly," Mai corrected. "I knew it was dangerous first because Ba makes me read labels before he lets me use anything. It's because I learned how to clean things. Don't you read the labels of cleaning crap before you use it?"

Daria said nothing. Mai eyed her girlfriend narrowly. "I bet you never cleaned anything in your life."

Daria responded instinctively. "Not true. Just the other day I emptied my pencil sharpener."

She paused then mused. "I should have emptied it in Quinn's bed."

Mai's eyes hardened as she stared at Daria. Then she turned her head to look out the windshield at the parking lot.

Daria knew her snark was for once not appreciated. This was her default setting and Jane and Mai usually heard it and contributed and added on.

"Mai, I'm…I'm sorry. That was petty of me. You deserve a real answer. You've been to our place; it's not a complete pig sty. I don't work as hard as you do, of course, but I do have chores, you know. Even Her Grace Quinn has to take out the garbage sometime, wearing two layers of plastic gloves to carry the bag, of course."

The small smile that Mai gave caused Daria to propose, "I bet you could work out the chemical reactions behind that so Kevin could do attempt poisoning more efficiently next time and we could study for the next quiz."

Mai shook her head but began.

"Probably 2parts NaOCl + 2NH3," Mai started.

A few moments later the two girls were involved in working out the chemical reactions between ammonia solutions and chlorine bleach each filling in what the other lacked or had forgotten.

"Chlorine gas, I guess," Mai concluded. "WWI trench warfare. He's lucky he didn't suck a lung full of death."

She looked at Daria appraisingly then got out of her truck quickly.

"Mai?" Daria hopped out her side and rounded the front. Without a word Mai took out running up the path leading to the spot where they had their first kiss, Daria's first kiss.

Daria ran after her as fast as her heavy boots could tramp. Mai was serious this time, running fast and hard with as long a stride as a six footer could muster.

She found Mai sitting on the bench under the trees by the pond and sobbing quietly. As Daria sat down Mai half-turned to her. She was unused to comforting anyone but some instinctive human impulse which she decided not to throttle put an arm around the taller girl's shoulders. Mai leaned into her and her sobs subsided as they sat quietly.

After a few minutes Daria took out her harmonica and played softly a tune which had come to her after Mai had sung a favorite Chinese song several times. A slow haunting tune which belied the comical-sounding English translation which Mai rendered of the slow, mournful lyrics and tone of the Chinese original: " _I'm a big, lonely wolf from the far, far north."_ After a few bars Mai sat up, joining in with her lovely voice. After they performed the song through Daria let the harmonica notes fade over the still pond.

"I'm so tired." Mai said at last. She slumped against Daria again. Daria was more comfortable holding her now and just let her talk.

"I want to be the perfect hard-working Chinese farm-girl for Ba and Ma but I'm so tired."

Mai fell asleep then with her head resting in Daria's lap. She stroked Mai's face and brushed hair out of her eyes. She didn't even look up or move as she heard a tuneless whistle signal the arrival of two boys with fishing poles.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Daria Digs

 _"Is it too late to join the badminton team? Maybe I could just be their ball, er, shuttlecock, er, birdie girl?"_

Daria positioned her arms and pom-pom holding hands in an 'L' slowly following the paradigm example which Ms. Morris had positioned in front of the other girls in gym, Brittany Taylor.

Daria looked again to her left and wished Jane were there to share the misery and snark accordingly. She did admire the girl next to her for being even more out of synch than she was.

 _"Maybe I should congratulate her? Nah, she looks lost in a tropical beach daydream. I'd never forgive myself for interrupting someone's escape fantasy. Even sweating through badminton practice with Jane and Quinn has to be better than this. Flexibility training my nearsighted eyes!"_

"This is fucking pointless, utterly damn boring and a totally malarky waste of time."

Mai's quietly voiced complaint directly behind her followed by snickers from some of the girls brought a smile to Daria and a full body shiver.

"But the view can't be beat. Fuck it, I'm getting us out of here."

Daria heard soft swooshes as Mai dropped her pom-poms and jogged over to Ms. Morris who was engaged in some arcanity on her clipboard.

Daria strained her ears and picked up snatches of conversation: "...chemistry test...big game tomorrow...rest my sore legs."

'Morgendorffer." Coach Morris approached. "Fall out of line. Ling tells me she needs your help studying chemistry and her legs need a rest before tomorrow's first round of playoffs. You two go to my office and discuss reactions or isotopes or polymers or whatever for the rest of class."

Mai managed not to grin, Daria noted, as they ignored a few groans and protests from their classmates. Mai first led her to the locker room for their books then to Morris's tucked-away office. Click, snap, lock. Daria turned to see Mai smirking at her.

"See, Morgendorffer? Some advantages to dating a jock."

Before she could propose breaking out their books, Mai stalked her; picked her up easily and plopped her butt down on Morris's desk. She melted in Mai's arms as feeble protests died on her lips. A long moment later they broke their kiss. Mai gave her a worthy tiny smile of satisfaction before she unlocked the door.

"A little flushed from cheerleading, I mean, flexibility training, Daria?"

"Yeah, that's it exactly, evil Chinese coach Ling."

"Let's study chemistry…for now." Mai said coyly and for the next fifteen minutes they did hit the books only talking to help the other get some point clarified.

Daria put down her pencil and sighed. As she glanced up, Mai greeted that sigh with an arched eyebrow gesture she had learned from Daria.

"Here we are in the office when we should be out sweating and learning flexibility from Brittany." Daria began. She bit her lip. "Not that I'm complaining too much."

Mai pursed her lips and interlaced her fingers with Daria's.

"You're about the most honest person I know." She smirked. "Except that thing you told me about writing people's college essays for dough."

Daria shifted uncomfortably. "Well, that's keeping everyone you and I both like in pizza toppings and dough and you and me in archery equipment."

Mai smirked conspiratorially. "And it is appreciated. Those wooden arrows you had made for me work great."

"Look, Daria." She got serious. "What they tell me at church and I certainly see around Lawndale is we're living in an imperfect world. I don't want to make it worse but I gotta work with what I got."

"Would you believe I don't think sports should be a part of high school?" Mai went on. "Or not the big fat fucking hairy deal most people make it. I love me my volleyball but anything in school should be academic, music and art only, I guess. But we're teenagers, Daria. Nobody in authority gives a rat's patootie about our opinions. I'm very good at volleyball, I know it. I gotta play that game to help get me out of here."

"Rat's patootie?" Daria said incredulously. "Where's the potty-mouth I know and, uh, like?"

"I'm trying hard to cut back on the swearing, really. I'm not taking that bye." Mai took her hand away from Daria's and looked down at the table. "I ran the numbers. If I study extra hard I can make it up on the next tests and Barch'll give me some make-up crap to do. She knows I try hard and that I usually know my stuff. And I got two X-chromosomes, of course."

"Why do I feel there's another boot about to drop-kick me?" Daria asked.

"We gotta cut back on time together." Mai looked up at her as her eyes started to glisten. "Just for a few weeks, Daria. I told you all the shit I got going on."

Mai's eyes gained a hopeful, somewhat cunning light. "Besides in a few weeks you'll be sixteen, uh, street legal."

"Street legal?" Daria shifted uneasily as she realized the implications.

 _"Intimacy issues on high-alert. Danger at sweet sixteen."_

"Does that mean you can drive me around town without fear of…god, Mai, I don't know. This is new to us both and you're far better than me at making things up as you go. Hrm, did you tell your brother about me? Us?"

Mai put her hand on the back of her head and rubbed her hair.

"Yeah, Daria. Sorry, I should have asked you but Tom's like…he's always understood me better than me even. And I trust him more than myself too. I had to tell him I was gay, when I first heard what the word meant."

She fished a black brick-sized object from her backpack. "He gave me this hand-me-down cell phone when he upgraded. Ma and Ba almost went ballistic but he convinced them it was for safety when I drove to away games with a crew of other girls. And he pays for the service. I got it about when I, uh, got you. The first call I made to him I went behind the barn and told him about you."

"Well, I'm glad you weren't just behind the barn to smoke corn silk."

Daria looked down, steeled herself and took Mai's hand. "Quinn knows about us too. She guessed and I didn't really deny it. She says half the school knows or guesses, I guess. And Jane too, of course."

Mai nodded. "Yeah, that's what Vonny and Pris told me. They were the only other people I told about me, us. They're such good friends. I know Jane would never hurt you either. I was afraid we'd get all kinds of shit at school but I guess we're protected by the great jock umbrella."

"And you could beat the snot out of anyone in school practically."

Mai grinned. "Yeah, that helps."

They both hustled to pack their books as they heard a shrill gym period-ending whistle from the gym.

"Mai, um, yeah, school comes first. Oh, god, don't you ever repeat that especially not to Jane."

Mai hugged her and gave her a bittersweet smile as they headed to the showers.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Daria Digs

Daria pedaled her mother's old three-speed bike along Highway 55 feeling amazed that she wasn't winded after a couple miles. The wind blew her hair back pleasurably. The feeling of her legs in khakis was new and appealing too.

 _"What are you going to say to them, Morgendorffer? God, Mai really does need to give me lessons on winging it."_

Soon enough she turned off the blacktop and up the Ling's gravel driveway. Her mind was blank and racing and worried and strangely calm as she knocked on the side door remembering that the Ling's rarely used the front door.

"Daria?" Mrs. Ling answered surprised at seeing her. "Hi, I guess you're here to study with Mai? Mai should have told me so I could get something ready."

Daria was happy she had thought to bring her backpack. "Well, Mai's been really busy lately, Mrs. Ling. She probably forgot. I hope I'm not intruding. And don't do anything special for me, Mrs. Ling."

 _"Good. Good start. That 'not intruding' line is supposed to work."_

"No, no, come in. Mai will be back from Dollar-a-Bucket in about a half-hour. Come in. I'll get you some tea."

She led Daria to the kitchen knowing that she and Jane prefered the homey kitchen to the formal dining room. She poured Daria a cup of fragrant tea from a pot that was as ever full as the coffee pot at Jane's place.

"Riding your bike out? That must be fun but are you planning to get your license soon? Mai really loves her truck. Sometimes I worry about her out alone though."

"Yeah, I turn sixteen in a few weeks, Mrs. Ling. Going for my first road test try then. Gotta practice that parallel parking a lot more."

"Well, you can come out here with your father anytime. Mai and Leonard can set you up a hay-bale obstacle course. And Leonard is so excited to get to work on this winemaking project with your father."

"Thanks, Mrs. Ling but I'm not sure your farm would survive my practice-driving."

Mr. Ling gave her a broad smile as he entered the kitchen from outside. "Daria! Come here to study with Mai? She's a good student but she's only improved since you started coming around."

"And I'm getting better grades in math too, Mr. Ling since Mai starting helping me."

"Let's hope Morgendorffer and Ling can form good partnerships in a lot of ways." Mr. Ling concluded. "Mavis probably told you that Mai is still at her Dollar-a-Bucket job."

 _"Let's plunge ahead recklessly then. Into the breach. Where angels fear to tread boldly goes the Morgendorffer. Okay, quit stalling."_

"Yeah, Dollar-a-Bucket. Mai offered to get me a job there too. She really likes it."

 _"What? Where did that come from? Mild sarcasm or irony? Too much my default, I guess."_

Mr. Ling poured himself a cup of tea and took a couple home-made oatmeal raisin cookies. He smirked as he flipped his Case iH cap up and expertly onto a peg on the far kitchen wall. Mrs. Ling looked about to say something but he spoke up.

"Really? Sometimes I get the feeling Mai doesn't like it. But it's a decent job for a teen. Inside work. Clean. It was that or mucking out old Schwabach's confinement barns. Even I don't want to do that sort of work again."

"Maybe she wanted me there for company. And to broaden my horizons selling affordable quality dollar items to Lawndale's finest citizenry."

 _"Your mouth, Morgendorffer. Your mouth. These are your girlfriend's parent, eap, and I actually like them."_

"I admire, Mai." Daria tried something complimentary sounding. "She works so hard. Makes me feel lazy. Let's see. Dollar-a-Bucket. Volleyball. She's a straight-A student. Church volunteering. Ah-I know I left something out."

 _"Subtle. Yeah, that's not bad. You'll be a negotiating pro in about fifty years, Morgendorffer."_

Mai's parents glanced at each other. They shifted in their seats.

Daria continued, "Oh, and Mai's popular at school. She has a lot of friends and she and I have been seeing a lot of each other lately. I mean, hanging out together at the range and studying."

 _"Yipe, does 'seeing a lot of each other' mean dating? I'll have to consult with Quinn. Oh, my God, consult with Quinn? Why did I think of that? This having a girlfriend, eap, business is turning my life upside down. Gotta go watch Sick, Sad World with Jane to recover."_

"And farm work," Mr. Ling added quietly almost more to himself. Then louder. "We're winding down for the season but Jake-your Pa-has Mavis and me all excited. We want to get the barn ready for making wine next year. You and Mai can help with that. The partnership can pay you too, good tax strategy according to your smart lawyer Ma."

"And farm work." Daria echoed. "I can help with part of Mai's chores, Mr. Ling. Everyone at school says I look so much better after working here a few times."

 _"Oh, oh. Careful now. You're sliding into dangerous territory volunteering for too much physical labor."_

Mr. and Mrs. Ling appeared to be thinking of something far away from the kitchen table chat at that moment. They began speaking rapidly, earnestly but quietly in Chinese. After a few sentences they both looked at Daria.

Mrs. Ling spoke first. "Sorry, dear. We were both born in the US but we still find it easier to talk about some things in Mandarin."

"That's okay, Mrs. Ling. Mai's been teaching Jane and me some Chinese but mostly how to talk about food, and other subjects."

Mrs. Ling nodded. "Yes, I can only imagine the vocabulary my daughter has been spreading around to her friends."

Daria sat back, trying to sink into the background as the Ling's resumed their conversation. She tried to read their intentions by their intonations but realized it was hard to do at her miniscule level of comprehension and in a language which, as Mai explained to her, was tonal to begin with.

Mai's parents conversed in Chinese, occasionally glancing at Daria until they seemed to come to a conclusion. They both sat back and sipped tea. Mrs. Ling refilled Daria's cup as Mr. Ling voiced a quiet 'excuse me' and left the kitchen.

"Oh, that's probably Mai now." Mrs. Ling said as a crunch on the gravel announced a vehicle's arrival.

Mai looked frazzled as she entered the kitchen.

"Daria?!" She perked up instantly and smiled. "What's up?"

"I need some help with math, Mai. And I actually listened to Mom like you recommended I do once in a while for a change. She said biking was fun and good for you so I rode out. Expect me never to take your advice again, Coach Ling. Well, except for math and volleyball."

Mai's mother was smiling gently as she looked from one girl to the other. Her father came into the kitchen holding a small leather-bound notebook. It was then that all three of them sniffed and noticed a heavy smell hanging around Mai and dark stains on Mai's ill-fitting blue work smock and more stylish trim blue jeans.

"Mai, what on earth did you get into at work?" Mrs. Ling asked.

Mai sighed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah. Ma, I don't know if even your ancient Chinese secret laundry soap can get out all this cashew oil. Great day at work let me tell you. I was unloading stuff from a freezer that went haywire when these two kids started running around the aisles. Before I could kick 'em out one started taunting the other. 'Chris, I bet a wuss like you can't drink a bunch of cashew oil.' 'Oh, yeah, I'm tougher than you, Sam,' the other yells and he actually starts chugging cashew oil. Damn! Oh, sorry Ma. Good thing he didn't ralph but he spit it out and dropped this quart jug before old man Gunderson chased 'em out. Well, this crappy, cheap plastic jug just breaks all over the floor, of course. And of course, guess who gets to clean it up?" Mai sighed, collapsed in a chair and gratefully accepted the cup of tea which Daria had prepared for her.

"Quit Dollar-a-Bucket." Her father said quietly. Mrs. Ling nodded and gave a small smile.

Daria and Mai goggled at them. Mai started speaking in Chinese but then glanced apologetically at Daria.

"Quit? Ba, I thought I needed the job for college dough. You both said we can't count on scholarships."

"And it's supposed to teach me small business, I thought." Mai added as an afterthought.

Her father handed her the notebook. "Page seven." He said simply. "It's all yours."

She took the book gingerly and flipped it open. Daria could see her eyes widen.

"Mine? Ba? Ma? For school?"

Mr. Ling looked out a window above the kitchen sink. He continued gazing out as he spoke.

"Mai, I'm proud to be a farmer. But really, your Ma and I are just peasants at heart. From a long line. And all over the world peasants learn to keep stuff back, to hold secrets even from their families. Your Ma and I were worried too much about the future we almost couldn't see the present. Quit Dollar-a-Bucket. It's not worth it. We don't need it."

He stood straighter and recited. "You who are young be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth." (NIV)

Mai's eyes were shining as she continued. "Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment." (NIV)

"Good girl." Mrs. Ling approved. "Mai, your father and I agree. Quit the job. Have fun with your friends. They're all good girls. We trust them. Have fun."

"We can get a hired man next spring." Mr. Ling said. "Maybe don't even need one. Jake and Helen are itching to help with the wine-making."

"And test drinking." Daria said.

Mr. and Mrs. Ling laughed. Mr. Ling turned from the window to look at Daria closely.

He nodded at Daria and commanded Mai. "Take care of that one."

"Ba?" Mai ventured quietly.

"You think I don't know my own daughter? Take care of her...take care of each other. Or I'll beat your pigu like I did when you were a naughty little girl."

A tear was running down Mai's cheek. "Ba, don't give me that. You're too soft-hearted; you could never spank me."

Mai glanced at Daria who had nothing to say. Daria found herself sliding her hand across the table. Mai slowly put hers out and the two met in the middle.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Daria Digs, Pris and Vonny talk to Daria**

"Boogies at nine o'clock high," Jane called as Daria was rummaging through her locker.

"Jane, late night war movies are not the answer to sleeplessness. Take it from me. And it's 'bogies'."

She closed her locker door and turned to see Siobhan and Pris indeed coming up on her left with their eyes fixed on her.

The two little groups of friends regarded each other silently until Siobhan commanded, "Be careful with Mai, Morgendorffer."

"And a good morning to you too, Vonny," Daria said. "I am careful with her. Just the other day I stopped Mai from jumping face first from the haymow."

Pris narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "God, I just don't get what Mai sees in you."

"I am an acquired taste."

"Daria," Siobhan started again quieter. "Mai is our friend, you know. She may seem all big and loud and tough but she's not all that. That bumper sticker crap hurt her harder than she'll admit. Look, Pris and I aren't against you and we don't care who Mai likes; if it makes her happy we're there. But she's new to, uh, your kind of thing and you're way more experienced. Just go slow with her, okay?"

Daria was trying to parse what Siobhan's little speech all actually meant when Jane gave a visible shudder and loud exhalation. It came to Daria then what was being implied and she glanced at Jane who was doing an admirable job not scratching at Siobhan's eyes.

"Siobhan," Daria attempted. "I appreciate what you and Pris are trying to do, I guess. You think I'm some big gay femme fatale and I'm flattered, I think. But having a, hrm, girlfriend is all new to me. It was all a bigger surprise to me than to Mai. And Jane's as straight as you guys."

"Having a boyfriend would be new to me too," she concluded musing to herself.

"Boyfriend?" Pris spoke up. "Mai was right about you. She's all afraid you're going to dump her and crush on some ancient volleyball guy she goes on about or start dating every hunky boy in Lawndale."

"You have me confused with my dear sister who is as close to me as a dear cousin. Guys, hunky or otherwise, are safe from this Morgendorffer. And volleyball stars are probably out of my league." Daria was further amazed by Jane's ability to keep her temper.

Daria continued, "You should coordinate with Mr. Ling. He already gave Mai and me this speech only he told her not to break my cold, hard little heart."

"Her parents are great about, uhm, her preferences, but they make her work way too much," Pris continued. "All that farm work and then that shitty job at that awful Dollar-a-Bucket discount store place. Plus volleyball. And she's not a total brainiac like you. She gets really good grades but she has to work for it. She's thinking of giving up volleyball but she can't; we can't let her. She's really good; she can get a scholarship ticket out of this dump."

Mai dropping volleyball was news which Daria vowed to take up with her.

"Mai's quitting the ratty job. Her parents are letting her quit," Daria informed them. She didn't feel right about telling them about the Ling's apparently big educational nest egg. "And less work on the farm too. Surprisingly, they declined my offer to help milk the hogs and slop the cows."

"What?" Siobhan was surprised. "Quitting Dollar-a-Bucket? How?"

"I talked to Mr. and Mrs. Ling about it." Daria felt like she was confessing; she did not want to seem to take credit. "They told Mai to quit and have more fun with her friends, that's you two, and, uh, me."

Siobhan and Pris looked at each other.

"Okay, Daria," Siobhan granted. "We believe you. We're going to talk to Mai too. I want to hear the good news from her." They nodded curtly at Daria and Jane and moved off.

"Jane, I admire your restraint."

Jane followed the retreating friends of Mai with her eyes. "Yeah, we Lanes are known for our restraint and repression. Actually, Daria, I was mostly thinking about whether to try out "your kind of thing" and on whom to subject myself."

"I feel like subjecting Queen Battledork to something or other when I get home. But Jane, I take it back. You need to watch more late night war movies. And lull yourself to sleep at school counting boogies."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Daria Digs**

"Quinn! Sandi! Lift 'em! Push 'em! Smack 'em! Jane! Tori! Rock 'em! Sock 'em! Whack 'em! Battledore! Paddle 'em! Rocket-racket! Rocket-racket! Rah, rah, rah! Go LIONS!"

Mai gave Siobhan a wide grin. Pris rolled her eyes and waved a Lawndale pennant. Daria cringed and shrunk a bit while sandwiched between her father and Mai on Oakwood's bleachers. Siobhan continued her impromptu, extemporaneous badminton-themed cheering.

"Popcorn?" her father asked. He reached across Daria and passed a bag each to Mai, Pris and Siobhan. Siobhan sat down to enjoy the treat.

"Thanks, Mr. Morgendorffer." The three chorused. Mai selected a fat, full kernel and impulsively stuck it in front of Daria's mouth. Daria jerked back instinctively but then she nearly took Mai's fingers off with the speed at which she snatched it up in her teeth.

"Umm." Jake said while offering a massive bag of popcorn which exuded a heavy smell of oil. "How's about you and Mai share this bag? I haven't put my paws in it yet."

"Thanks, I don't know, Dad." Daria considered the soaked bag bottom. "It might burst open and stain my spotless skirt. You know how concerned I am about my appearance."

"Great, thanks, Mr. Morgendorffer." Mai reached across Daria to snatch the bag. "I'll take the risk and see that Little Miss Fussy here stays neat and clean."

Pris and Siobhan were willing to take Mai's bag off her hands. As Jake turned to talk to someone Mai gave Daria a fiendish smile in return for a glare. Daria resistance to artificial butter was as strong as her resistance to free pizza and soon her fingers were slick with oil. She stopped wondering about her father's gift-giving motives and observational skills as Quinn and Sandi took the courts along with two Oakwood players.

"Ugh," Mai announced. "Once again I'm glad I play for Lawwwndale High for all its peculiarities. I know they're the Taproots but do their uniforms have to be sh-, uh, dirt brown and puke yellow?"

Daria was more interested in watching Sandi and Quinn warm up. She thunked a small pair of binoculars against her lenses before she remembered to take off her glasses first. Then some time was spent blinking and twiddling knobs before the court came into sharp focus.

"Looks like that ancient Chinese secret salve you gave Sandi brought down the swelling and redness on her ear. And the scratch under Quinn's chin is much better too thanks to your mysterious Oriental concoctions. And even more impressive they're talking quietly to each other."

"Some ancient Chinese secret. It's just corn-husker's lotion for Sandi. Ba swears by it for his hands but I'm not sure if it's supposed to make people speak civilly to each other. Maybe Sandi and Quinn guzzled a bottle before their last practice."

The Oakwood girls looked determined in this fourth and last match of the round-robin. They had already lost to Jane and Tori two games to one while the other Oakwood team had beaten Sandi and Quinn again two games to one before the brief intermission.

The match began and soon Daria found herself nearly getting squashed as Mai and Jake on either side of her leaped up frequently to cheer each Lawndale point or give the line judges a hard time over a contested call. In simple self-defense she gamely began rising with her bleacher-mates. Daria's modest, sincere 'hip-hip-huzzah' was lost in Pris' restrained cheer when Sandi and Quinn handily swept their three games. Jake noticed, however, and gave Daria a wide, knowing smile while patting his jacket breast pocket significantly.

Daria and Mai smacked slippery hands as they dug into the popcorn bag. Mai gave her a solid squeeze, hidden by the recesses of the bag. It was noticed by Pris who grimaced a bit but passed on some napkins to wipe grease off their fingers. Then she smiled and nodded.

By that time Jane and Tori were warming up and bouncing around on the floor with their Oakwood contenders. The Oakwood girls wore determined expressions; if they could win two out of three games they could pull ahead by one game over Lawndale for the night, and Daria could tell they would give a hard match to the upstart, novice Lawndalians. Tori and Jane looked relaxed and concentrated. The four shook hands and spun their rackets showingly around in their palms as they took up opposing spots.

"Hell, this makes me more nervous than playing volleyball." Mai declared as they watched the four players consult with their coaches at twenty-nine points all in the final game. Lawndale and Oakwood stood at one game each in the last match.

"So this is the last point?" Daria asked. "I thought someone had to win by two."

"Nah," Siobhan told her. "They go to thirty at the most. Otherwise, we'll be here all night."

Tori blasted a serve down the middle, coming in barely over the net, her signature serve, Jane had said. Spectators' heads jerked back and forth in concentration until the Lawndale contingent groaned and the Taproot fans breathed a sigh of relief and then cheered.

Somehow Jane and Tori had fallen prey to the classic "I thought you had it" mistake and the birdie dropped between them. Jane appeared to wilt as Tori spun around away from the net and put her hands on her knees. They both recovered quickly as Quinn bounded onto the court and consoled her teammates. Sandi, surprisingly, was the first out to congratulate the Oakwooders. The eight girls huddled near the net and conversed.

"Whew, what a match and night." Mai said. "They did amazingly amazing for their very first outing."

"Ah, win some, lose some." Daria heard the man next to Jake say. She turned as she realized they were sitting next to her mother's boss, Eric Schrecter. Schrecter discreetly passed a thick envelope to Jake who deposited it in his inner jacket pocket. Eric then shook his head as he got up and mooched off.

"The girl's had a fine game, Mr. Morgendorffer." Daria heard her principal's voice next and saw Ms. Li approaching from the lower bleachers.

"Boy, I'll say. You can't complain about their effort and results in their first game against another school. I think Lawndale High is going to need a bigger trophy case. And make sure you spell 'Morgendorffer' right."

"Thank you, Mr. Morgendorffer. It's wonderful to see parents support their children in such worthy endeavors. And thank you again for your generous pledge to support our students' extracurricular activities."

Jake smiled ruefully as he reached into his pocket and passed an envelope to an appreciative Ms. Li. Daria noted that it looked thinner than the packet Schrecter had given her father. She looked on her other side and saw that her friends had not seemed to notice the exchanges.

"Dad?" She said with arched brow when Ms. Li had wandered off.

"What, kiddo? Oh, Let's talk about it later. You can help me with the math. Say, I bet you all are hungry. How's about you treat the other girls to pizza and sodas?"

He pulled a fifty from his wallet and handed it over. Then he reconsidered. "Hmm, eight hungry girls? Four just off a rugged, tough badminton game? Here." Another fifty was deposited in a wide-eyed Daria's hands.

Daria turned back to her friends. "Guys, pizzas with everything is on me. But nobody can ask too many questions. And you all have to promise to let Jane order only one with anchovies."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Daria Digs**

"Eww," Mai said. "I still can't believe how fucking icky sticky you white people's ear wax is. Cruddy!"

Daria lifted her head from her girlfriend's lap. She sat up on her bed. "Yes, we Northern Europeans are a mysterious race."

"Mai, close your eyes now. I know it's still a couple weeks away but I'll give you my birthday present." Daria told Mai. She went to her bedroom door and double-checked that they were safely locked away.

"You'll give me your present?" Mai asked.

"Yes, do you want it or not?"

Mai knew enough to shut up and settle down on Daria's bed. She made a great presentation of closing her eyes and covering them with her hands. Daria scooted into her closet from which Mai heard fossicking and rustling sounds which tormented her curiosity for a few moments. Then she heard Daria take up a position in front of her.

"Okay, you can look now," Daria said deadpan.

Mai clasped her hands to her mouth immediately after opening her eyes. She stood but did not move towards Daria.

"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God."

"I thought you never took the Lord's Name in vain," Daria smirked a bit.

"I'm...I'm giving thanks." Mai said quite sincerely. Only then did she step to Daria, not touching but walking slowly around her.

Daria posed coquettishly by some instinct to tease and please. Then she drew herself up, pleased at the half inch which she had gained since getting to know Mai.

Mai smiled broadly as she took in Daria who was standing in a blue Lawndale High volleyball uniform shirt; tight yellow volleyball shorts; pristine white knee pads; white knee socks with blue and yellow bands and to top it off or bottom it off sparkling new white sneakers. Daria bent over and touched her toes to give Mai the best look at the shorts on which blue letters proclaimed, " _Property of Mai Ling."_

"Mai," Daria requested. "Do something before I die of embarrassment."

"This is the fucking best birthday present you've ever received, except for what's coming next." Mai said as she sat down on the bed and drew Daria onto her lap. They snuggled; Mai drawing back happily after each kiss to look at Daria in her uniform.

"Okay, now you can give me an early fucking present," Daria commanded with her arms around her girlfriend's neck. Mai giggled in delight as the word uncustomarily rolled from Daria's mouth.

"Don't you want a surprise?"

"Not for this," speckled hazel eyes looked into Mai's dark brown orbs. "Tell me again what you're going to do to me when I turn street-legal sixteen in two weeks. Be as graphic as possible; I know you have it in you."

 **THE END**


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